Divorce

Divorce Isn't About Reinvention. It's About 'Rediscovering' Yourself

Moving on is all about perspective.

If there's ever a time you need a little distraction in your life, it's during the divorce process. That's why we launched our Divorce Care Package series. With each post, we'll show you what things -- books, movies, recipes -- helped others relieve stress in the midst of divorce, in the hopes that a few of their picks will serve you well too. Want to share what got you through your divorce? Email us at divorce@huffingtonpost.com.

In 2014, Aubrey Keefer's marriage ended after six years. In the wake of the split, she and her two girls sold and moved out of their family home. It was a lot to process. Through it all, Keefer tried to focus on all the good that was still in her life.

"You have to choose love," the divorced mom told HuffPost recently. "Love those who matter the most, including yourself, and love the life you have."

Keefer has come a long way in the two years since her divorce. Below, the HuffPost blogger shares five things that helped her cope and get to a happier, healthier place today.

The Songs
"My girls wereobsessed with the Frozen movie at the time of my divorce. As cheesy as it is, 'Let It Go' became my theme song that summer. We also sang along with lots of girl power songs, like Pink’s 'Rock Star.'"
The Quote
Aubrey Graeser
"My motto during my divorce was, 'When life kicks you, let it kick you forward.' After my ex and I separated, I started eating right and working out, I reconnected with old friends and I threw myself into giving my girls the most amazing summer they’d ever experienced. We made incredible memories and we proved that we could handle anything life threw at us."
The TV Show
NBC via Getty Images
"That first summer, sleep completely eluded me. When my best friend wasn’t free to talk on the phone while everyone else in my house slept, I would turn on the TV for background noise. Before long, I realized I was making a point of being in front of my TV at 11:30 to watch Jimmy Fallon every night. For the first time in weeks, I found myself laughing out loud. What a welcome escape from the tears that were normally streaming down my face."
The Indulgence
Sean Marc Lee via Getty Images
"Our favorite ice cream shop is less than a mile away from my therapist’s office. Before the first session that I went to without my then-husband, I stopped and picked up a chocolate malt milkshake. For the first three weeks after he left, I had a shake a day. They were literally the only food I could keep down, so they became my sole source of nutrition."
The Hobby
Olja Merker via Getty Images
"I grew up involved in all kinds of musical ensembles. I started taking piano lessons at age 8 and I continued playing various instruments through college. My ex never took much interest in hearing me play and I stopped making time for music after we moved in together. When he left, I found myself drawn to my piano. I now play many times a week and my girls love listening to me play and trying to learn from me. I just ordered a mouthpiece and am going to start playing French horn. I’m not reinventing myself, but I’m rediscovering who I used to be and what made me who I am."

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