Do You Judge Other Women's Bodies? Why It's So Bad For You

Young woman whispering secret into friend's ear, close-up
Young woman whispering secret into friend's ear, close-up

I want you to stop judging other women's bodies. Today. Because it's terrible for you.

When you judge other women's bodies, It's always going to put you in one of these places, none of which feel that great:

1. You see a woman with a body that is "better" than yours. She could be thinner and more toned than you, or more muscular, or her body may be taller or shorter than yours. You believe this woman is superior to you, and that you should look like that, and you're not good enough because you don't. It creates chaos and pain and suffering for you, because you think you're lacking. The cycle of worry, doubt, and anxiety perpetuates. Bottom line: You feel bad about yourself.

2. You see a woman with a body that is "worse" than yours. Maybe it is larger or softer than yours, or maybe her hair is frizzy or she has lipstick on her teeth. You believe you're better than her in some small corner of your mind. Maybe you even believe she should "do something" so she doesn't look like that. You're thankful you don't look like that, but your thankfulness has a knife to it, and negativity that comes from not practicing kindness toward others, and worries that others may think badly about you, too. Bottom line: You feel superior, which is really just a way of saying you're incredibly afraid that you're inferior in some deep and meaningful way.

3. You see a woman who has a body that reminds you of your own. You believe she looks okay so maybe you look okay too. You believe maybe you're good enough after all. Or perhaps you believe she looks terrible, so therefore you must look terrible, too. Bottom line: You're basing your worth on how you look.

Judging other women's bodies and appearance never gets you anywhere good. One way or another, you'll use it to cement your deeply held, fear-based beliefs. Either that you're not good enough, or that you have to look a certain way to be worthy, or that your value is based on your body, period.

Your worth is not determined by the size of your body, and neither is anyone else's.

Judging other women's bodies is a tough habit to break, as you'll find, but here's what you can do, starting today:

  • When you notice yourself judging another woman's body, say "STOP" (out loud or to yourself, depending on how crazy you'll seem if you say it out loud)

  • Next, remind yourself that this person in front of you is so much more than a body. She's got a soul, a spirit. She's a human, walking around on this earth, with all sorts of troubles and pain and beauty and light that you can't even begin to imagine.
  • Lastly, remind yourself that you, too, are so much more than a body, and that judging yourself or others only fosters more fear and insecurity
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