CHARLOTTE NC (Goodyear Satire Company)--
Donald Trump shocked the world today by appearing reasonable on a matter of public import. This unusual new strategy was introduced when he came out in favor of letting transgender individuals choose for themselves which bathroom to use. By doing so,Trump staked out a sensible position unknown to any other Republican, and closest in tone to Social Democrat Bernie Sanders.
A newly-enacted North Carolina bathroom law permits the state to mandate which public bathroom one must use based on the 23rd pair of their chromosomes, rather than leaving the decision up to fully-formed individuals created in God's image to decide for themselves.
"North Carolina did something that was very strong, and they're paying a big price, and there's a lot of problems," Trump mumbled at a Today show town hall as he demonstrated human-like logic albeit with a sixth grade vocabulary. "Leave it the way it is; there have been very few complaints the way it is," Trump reduntantly said redundantly. Indeed, many of the bathroom scandals in the news of late revolve around the unseemly sex acts of republican politicians.
Trump's position would appear to appeal to a good portion of the 30% of Bernie Sanders voters who have vowed not to support Hillary Clinton if she is the Democrat nominee. Those voters could make up for the loss of any support among Republicans over the issue. Trump voters, in particular, have shown a disdain for the politically correct positions of the T-Rexpublicans.
Pollsters have identified a group of Sanders supporters who would consider backing Trump and an even larger group of Clinton supporters who would consider voting for Trump. An NBC News/Wall Street Journal survey conducted by Hart Research Associates last month found 7% of Sanders voters would consider backing Trump over Clinton, as would 66% of Clinton voters who would consider supporting Trump over Sanders.
Trump, apparently advocating personal choice for the first time in this millennium, said "People go, they use the bathroom that they feel is appropriate."
Trump's staking out this position also lends credence to conservatives' claims that Trump is "really not a conservative." Predictably, Ted Cruz, a strong supporter of the North Carolina law, disagreed with Trump, troglodytesplaining in a tweet, "We shouldn't be facilitating putting little girls alone in a bathroom w/ grown men. That's just a bad, bad, bad idea[.]"
That said, mothers and fathers seldom let little girls (or little boys, for that matter) go to adult bathrooms alone unless their names are Duggar. Cruz' position is further disputed by LGBT advocates, who point to Department of Justice studies showing that a majority of rapes are committed by someone who is already known to a victim, not a total stranger.
Trump's practical economic side was on display as he considered the costs to North Carolina, which has been shunned by corporate America and show business personalities alike. "And the problem with what happened in North Carolina is the strife and economic punishment that they're taking," said Trump, who also opposes gender neutral bathrooms, claiming they are too expensive.
The civil rights battles of the 1960s were largely fought over race and the rights of minorities; the civil rights battles of the 1970s-1990s were largely fought over gender and women's rights, and the civil rights battles of the 2000s and 2010s are being fought over the LGBT community. Donald Trump appears to appreciate this fact, while the rest of the Republican party does not.
But it's all the same battle, and the issues are and have always been freedom and personal choice. Do we want a government run by control freaks or one that allows people to run their lives, free of government interference? This election will help us decide.
Donald Trump may be justifying his point of view regarding transgender individuals on practical and economic grounds, but he is likely to win the Republican nomination as long as he controls the debate, no matter how loopy it becomes.