Donald Trump Clearly Doesn't Understand How Dogs Work

The Donald's simile game is weak "like a dog."
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Donald Trump also wears hats "like a dog."
Sean Rayford/Getty Images

Billionaire real estate mogul and GOP presidential candidate Donald Trump has never been known for his way with words. In campaign speeches, he often describes things as "bad,""so bad," or, if he's feeling especially adventurous, "very bad." And he promises to fix bad with good by "winning," "totally succeeding" and by being "great" again.

For Trump, the lack of oratorical creativity hasn't just led him to speak with a fourth-grade vocabulary. It has tainted his speech like a dog.

I know what you're thinking. Like a dog? That simile makes no sense in that context. Dogs don't really taint things. Wouldn't "like toxic waste" make more sense? Or "like a turd floating in a pool?" Pretty much anything is better than saying "like a dog."

"Like a dog" is a stupid thing to say. But it's also one of Donald Trump's favorite insulting comparisons, and like much of his shit-talking game, it's stupid.

While people typically use "like a dog" with phrases like "shot down," "treated" (poorly), "worked" or maybe even "walked," Trump uses the expression to describe behavior that simply doesn't apply to dogs. It's unclear if he's just lazy, or if he's truly unfamiliar with canine behavior.

Who fires their dog?

Of course, dogs rarely secure gainful employment, which means they almost never get fired. Unless you're Donald Trump, apparently.

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Tiara Chiaramonte

Dogs don't sweat.

At a rally in New Hampshire this week, Trump gleefully recalled watching Sen. Marco Rubio (R-Fla.) "sweat like a dog" at a recent debate after repeating a canned line criticizing President Barack Obama.

Dogs pant. Dogs don't sweat (except, apparently, through their paw pads). Neither do robots.

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David Goldman/Associated Press

Dogs are not known for choking.

Trump dropped this comparison last year when he suggested that former Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney had "choked like a dog" in 2012, and should therefore not run again.

When you think about it, it's pretty amazing that dogs can eat so fast without choking more frequently.

Dogs beg, but not for money.

Trump's a bit closer with this one, but still off.

Dogs don't get thrown off television.

Here's Donald Trump insulting entrepreneur Mark Cuban about his reality show, "The Benefactor," in 2007:

“Mark Cuban was extremely embarrassed when he copied ‘The Apprentice’ and failed,” Trump raged. “They threw him off television like a dog.

“I wrote him a note and I said, ‘Mark, you have absolutely no television persona. I wish you would have spoken to me previously or before you did this. I could have told you it was gonna fail.’ And he failed."

He used the comparison again in 2008, saying, "If you don't get ratings, you're thrown off air like a dog."

Dogs just don't get thrown off TV. Unless they're Lassie. Sorry, Lassie, you had a good run.

Dogs don't get dropped.

Just no.

Dogs don't get dumped.


Dogs don't get involved in committed relationships that would otherwise allow them to "cheat" on one another.

"Lady and the Tramp" was a lie.

Note to our readers: Donald Trump is a serial liar, rampant xenophobe, racist,misogynistbirther and bully who has repeatedly pledged to ban all Muslims -- 1.6 billion members of an entire religion -- from entering the U.S.

Also on HuffPost:

Celebrities Who Have Endorsed Trump
(01 of 08)
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Political pundit Ann Coulter threw her support behind Trump when she was a guest on “The Eric Metaxas Show.” (credit: Jonathan Ernst / Reuters)
(02 of 08)
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Former WWE pro wrestler Hulk Hogan not only endorses Trump, but he also told TMZ last year he wants to be Trump's running mate.

Asked which presidential candidate he most wanted to fight, Hogan responded, “I don’t want to be in the ring with any candidates. I want to be Trump’s running mate.”

“Did you hear that? Vice President Hogan?” he added.

The WWE cut ties with Hogan last July after a video of him using racial slurs surfaced online.
(credit: Gabe Ginsberg/Getty Images)
(03 of 08)
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Aissa Wayne, daughter of movie icon John Wayne, has thrown her support behind Trump's presidential bid. She made the endorsement at the John Wayne Birthplace Museum in Iowa in front of a life-size, gun-toting figurine of The Duke. (credit: Aaron P. Bernstein via Getty Images)
(04 of 08)
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Jerry Lamon Falwell Jr., the president of Liberty University and the son of late televangelist Jerry Lamon Falwell, endorsed Trump days before the pivotal Iowa caucuses.

“In my opinion, Donald Trump lives a life of loving and helping others as Jesus taught in the great commandment,” Falwell said. “He cannot be bought, he's not a puppet on a string like many other candidates ... who have wealthy donors as their puppet masters.”

When the presidential hopeful visited Liberty University's campus, Falwell effusively compared Trump to his own father.

Other evangelical Christians have since voiced their frustration with Falwell's endorsement, citing Trump's alleged sexual affairs and claims of spousal abuse.

John Stemberger, president of the Florida Family Policy Council, told Politico in a statement that Trump was "the most immoral and ungodly man to ever run for President of the United States."
(credit: Chip Somodevilla via Getty Images)
(05 of 08)
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Tila Tequila, a reality TV star and flat Earth conspiracy theorist who once claimed to be a "robotoid clone," will be voting for Trump this year.

In the middle of a transphobic Twitter rant about Caitlyn Jenner, she tweeted, "I only want @realDonaldTrump to win so to smite some of my enemies, kill the politically correct, and basically make America great again!"

Tequila was recently kicked off "Celebrity Big Brother" for praising Adolf Hitler and posing in Hitler and Nazi-inspired outfits on social media.
(credit: Karwai Tang via Getty Images)
(06 of 08)
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The self-proclaimed "toughest sheriff in America," Joe Arpaio of Maricopa County, Arizona, has endorsed Trump. (credit: Laura Segall / Reuters)
(07 of 08)
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Former baseball player John Rocker told The Daily Caller that Trump is "that guy" for America.

“I think [Trump] has really woken America up," Rocker said. "I’m probably as disheartened as everyone else is, as Trump supporters seem to be, with the status quo and the glad-handing politicians and the soundbite politicians always looking for the right comment to make and walking that fine line, trying to make every single faction out there who could be a possible voter, don’t make anybody mad and wear kid gloves.”

Rocker once told Sports Illustrated that New York City was full of “degenerates,” and said he would rather retire than ride the subway with “some queer with AIDS” and “some dude who just got out of jail for the fourth time.”

He's also sold shirts that read "Speak English" on his website.
(credit: Sporting News Archive via Getty Images)
(08 of 08)
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Former Alaska governor and 2008 vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin endorsed Trump for president while the two were in Iowa ahead of the caucuses.

"The status quo has got to go, otherwise we're just going to get more of the same. And with their failed agenda, it can't be salvaged. It must be savaged. And Donald Trump is the right one to do that," Palin told a crowd of Trump supporters.

"He builds things, he builds big things. Things that touch the sky. Big infrastructure that puts other people to work. He has spent his life looking up and respecting the hard hats and the steel-toed boots and the work ethic that you all have within you," Palin said. "This self-made success of his, you know that he doesn't get his power, his high, off of opium [OPM] -- other people's money -- like a lot of dopes in Washington do. They're addicted to opium, where they take other people's money and then their high is getting to redistribute it, right?"

While commenters panned Palin's endorsement as "word salad," her support means more tea partiers and evangelicals might join her in the Trump camp.
(credit: Aaron P. Bernstein via Getty Images)
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