Donald Trump Faces The Music

Many political pundits accuse Donald Trump of blowing his own horn. So much that they sound like a broken record. But maybe it's time they changed their tune. Because when it comes to his presidential campaign, Mr. Trump may have to march to the beat of his own drum. You see, despite his power and money, he doesn't always call the tune.

Here's why.

Every political candidate wants to start campaign events on the right note. So music is essential. But Neil Young, R.E.M. and Aerosmith won't allow their songs to be used by Mr. Trump. And other big-name musical acts may follow their lead. That leaves the Trump campaign without a sound to attract young voters. And Mr. Trump doesn't want to just fiddle while America doesn't become great again.

Fortunately, a solution is at hand. The Starkett Levee rock band will give Trump permission to use its songs at campaign events. "Millennials are already alienated from politics," says Noel Hattem, lead singer for Starkett Levee. "We think our music can attract them to the political process and get them interested in the election."

Does Starkett Levee support Donald Trump for president? "We support democracy," notes Hattem. "And if our music can get millennials to vote, it's good for the country." So who does Starkett Levee support? "We support America," says Hattem. Ok, so presumably the band wouldn't object to making America great again.

Most important, some of the band's most popular tunes seem tailor-made for the Trump campaign's immigration message. Titles like "How Many?" "Open Door," and "Put Them Men Away," could have been written by The Donald himself. At least it seems like they're singing from the same page.

Not exactly, argues Hattem, who says that Starkett Levee is liberal. No Problem. It would still be smart for the Trump campaign to use the band's songs. Why? The Starkett Levee band consists of white guys. That should be music to Mr. Trump's ears. It's his favorite demographic. After all, almost everything he says is designed to tickle the ivories.

Besides, there's always "Circle of Emptiness." That's the perfect Starkett Levee song for every Trump rally. It reinforces the message that politics as usual is a swan song and only an outsider like Donald Trump can jazz things up.

Of course, as the owner of Trump Tower, Mr. Trump probably has the rights to use plenty of elevator music. But that won't strike the right chord with voters. Elevator music is worse than playing second fiddle -- something that Mr. Trump would never do.

If he doesn't want to use Starkett Levee tunes, maybe he should just play it by ear. A lot of pundits say he already is. And there's nothing wrong with that, especially when you're topping the charts. Will that make him a one-hit wonder? Hey, in politics that just means you didn't get elected to a second term.

Well, let's end this on a high note. Just remember, it ain't over till the fat lady sings. Or Hillary Clinton. Or until The Donald has left the building.