All The Places That Aren't The White House Donald Trump Might Call Home

Because 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. apparently isn't enough.

The big white house with pillars at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. NW in Washington, D.C. is supposed to be the world’s most prestigious address. To Donald Trump, however, it is an old, drafty fixer-upper in a bad neighborhood in a city he doesn’t like and is proud not to really know.

Trump craves gold and marble; the White House has little of either. He loves homes that have been owned by the rich and famous; the White House is owned by the American people, who by definition are not Big League. He loves spreads with golf courses. True, Ike once had a putting green installed on the South Lawn, but there’s no room even for a straight par three hole out there: not Yuge. Most important, there is nothing about the White House that would impress the other man in Trump’s ― and the world’s ― most dangerous bromance, Vladimir Putin. What would Vlad think? What would Vlad want?

President-Elect Trump will never regard the White House as home. He’ll want to go on what they used to call in England a Royal Progress, moving from palace to palace. Here is our First to Last list of his potential stopping places:

Photos: Getty, Associated Press