By: Marty Rudoy, Goodyear Satire Co.
Tax dollars spent commuting DJT to Mar-a-Lago to play 10 rounds of golf: $21 million
Number of national security meetings held in restaurant non-smoking sections: 1
Percentage of Muslim bans enjoined by courts: 100
Linear feet of ‘Beautiful’ Border Wall Completed: 0
Minimum Number of unregistered foreign agents to have served in Cabinet: 2
Sales of Ivanka-wear at Nordstroms in Trump’s first 100 Days: $0
Percentage of Trump National Security Advisers Who Have Been Fired: 50
Number of People at Dinner where Botched Yemen Raid was Authorized: 8
Number of Dictators Complimented by DJT: 4
Percentage of 46 fired US Attorneys who have been replaced: 0
Dollars paid in fraud damages while President: 25,000,000
Number of Syrian airport gift shops destroyed by 59 Cruise missiles: 1
Number of Syrian Runways destroyed by 59 Cruise missiles: 0
Number of Hillary Clintons locked up: 0.
Number of Trump Cabinet Members Who May Be Locked Up: 5
Percentage of 576 key jobs requiring Senate approval still unfilled: 82
Jobs created by Presidential Action: 2 (Jared, Ivanka)
Amount of Foreign Payments that Michael Flynn Failed to Report, in Rubles: 32,323,107
Percentage of Russian sanctions eliminated in first 100 days: 0
Percentage of sentences spoken which were complete with subject, verb, object: 0
Number of Obamacares repealed: 0
Number of Obamacares replaced: 0
