It’s more than opening doors, pulling out chairs, paying if he chooses to.
It’s more than walking you out and making sure you got home safely.
It’s more than the respect he shows to your father and family.
And it’s even more than when he likes you enough to introduce you to his friends and family.
Don’t commit to him until he really proves he wants you in his life and wants to make you a priority.
Don’t commit to him until you see him make sacrifices. The one who will do whatever you need him to when you need him to do it.
“Don’t commit to him until you see him make sacrifices. The one who will do whatever you need him to when you need him to do it.”
The one who will change his schedule if it makes your life easier.
Because as much as it’s the little acts like waking up and leaving you coffee before he leaves as you’re still sleeping or cooks for you and brings it to bed, there more to it than that.
Don’t commit to him until he really shows you who he is and isn’t afraid of it.
The one who isn’t afraid to be vulnerable. Isn’t afraid to tell you about his past. Isn’t afraid to talk about the things you need to if you want any hope of a relationship.
The one who listens to what you say and remembers it.
The one who pays attention to little details and notices things.
Don’t commit to him until you’ve seen every side of him and know that you still love him. A good mood or bad mood. Drunk. Angry. Sad. Frustrated when his team loses. In every physical form, someone can be. When he has morning breath or is dressed to a T.
And make sure you can show him every side of you.
Even those parts you’re scared of. The side of you, you’ve hidden from the world. The side you might hate.
Don’t commit to him until he’s seen that and teaches you how to accept every part of yourself.
Don’t commit to him until you realize he wouldn’t change a thing about you, even when everyone else has made it seem like it’s you that is flawed.
Let him be the one to tell you they are wrong until you believe it.
Don’t commit to him until you know he’s got your back supporting you, encouraging you, making you better and making you want to achieve more. The one who isn’t afraid to tell you when you’re settling in life or not standing up for yourself or not doing what you need to do. But then goes and holds your hand as you do it. Don’t commit until you have someone who is not just your number one fan but on your team helping you get to whatever you want to be. The one who knows when to lift you when you’ve fallen but also knows when to stand back and just watch in awe.
Don’t commit to him until you know his word is gold and flaking out on you or changing plans is the last thing he’d ever do.
The one who looks forward to seeing you, talking to you, just being around you.
The one who truly misses you when you leave.
Don’t commit to him until you see him apologize when he’s wrong and does everything to make it right.
The one who actually wants to know how your day is. The one who picks up the phone and calls. The one you lose track of time talking to because you’re lost in each other. Don’t commit until you know he loves you and isn’t afraid to say it even if it’s first.
The one who makes you feel like the most beautiful girl in the world because he constantly is telling you that.
Don’t commit until he enters your life upping and the previous standard you might have had.
The one who looks at challenges in relationships as something you can overcome together. Don’t commit until you know he wants you in your future and when you look in his eyes you both forget and forgive yourself for the past.
Read more by Kirsten in her book, But Before You Leave, available here.