Don't Cry for Me, Mr. Speaker

On the December 13th episode of The View, Joy Behar made a pointed observation regarding House of Representatives Majority Speaker John Boehner's tendency toward tears. "I think that it's interesting to watch him cry. We call him Weeper of the House. He cries only when he talks about how sad his life was. He had to sweep floors, he was a janitor, and he pursued the American dream. And yet he has very little empathy for people who are in that position now."

Boehner certainly can't be crying for the Republicans who have the White House in a stranglehold and are planning to exact their pound of flesh in the form of extending tax cuts for the rich, dismantling universal healthcare, and preventing regulations like those that would have made coal mining safer.

Unless Boehner has a psychological problem, as hinted at by Barbara Walters on The View, why would the Speaker cry at a time so promising for his party? Why would he cry at a time so promising for himself, now second after only the Vice President in the line of presidential succession?

What might a Republican donor, pleased to have Republican control of the House, say to the weeping speaker? Or perhaps sing to Boehner, to the tune of "Don't Cry for Me Argentina?"

Don't cry for me Mr. Speaker,
I'm not the sort you should weep for.
I've got my health care, I'm not on welfare,
I'm doing just fine, I own a coal mine.

Don't cry for me, Mr. Boehner,
I live the dream, not the nightmare.
My kids won't fight wars, their schools are paid for,
You're just beginning, I think we're winning.

Don't cry for me, or the bankers,
Big Oil with all their tankers,
We have the House now, and you're at the prow,
I like my tax rate, you're doing just great.

So, don't cry for me, or our party,
Forget those less than hardy.
Tea Party poor folk, aren't in on our joke,
They've blessed us somehow, it's "trickle down" now.