Don't Make Kim Davis a Hero

GRAYSON, KY - SEPTEMBER 8:  Rowan County Clerk of Courts Kim Davis stands with her attorney Mat Staver (R) and Republican pre
GRAYSON, KY - SEPTEMBER 8: Rowan County Clerk of Courts Kim Davis stands with her attorney Mat Staver (R) and Republican presidential candidate Mike Huckabee (L) in front of the Carter County Detention Center on September 8, 2015 in Grayson, Kentucky. Davis was ordered to jail last week for contempt of court after refusing a court order to issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples. (Photo by Ty Wright/Getty Images)

In the Dumb Hall of Fame, I pray that there will one day be an entry with Kim Davis's name on it.

We all know her name. She's the Christian right enthusiast who refused to issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples and was jailed as a result. Earlier this week, Kim Davis was released from prison, Survivor's Eye of the Tiger blasting like an apocalyptic trumpet and Mike Huckabee, America's favorite political yuk, standing triumphantly at her side. It was a good day for stupidity, nay, a perfect day for all things ignorant.

The moment I saw the clip, I screamed "NO!" at the computer screen. Not only was this strange beast of a woman released from prison, but she was being celebrated. CELEBRATED, people! Although I do not find it entirely surprising that the backwoods American/Christian right is all over the Kim Davis support like vultures to a decaying animal corpse, it doesn't make it any less terrible.

Allow me to play a game with all of you on the "Kim Davis Rocks" train. Suppose you wanted to exercise your constitutional right and purchase a firearm license. Unfortunately, the clerk claims that issuing a firearm license is against his religious beliefs because it promotes violence. No guns for you. "But it's part of the Constitution!" You say. "The Constitution states that I have the right to bear arms! It is against my rights for you to refuse me this license!"

And you know what? You would be right. Despite his religious beliefs, that clerk is required under the Constitution to issue that license. Doing otherwise is against the law.

Let's pause and talk about something that happened in the past few months. On June 26th of 2015, the Supreme Court of the United States of America declared that refusing marriage licenses to same-sex couples was UNCONSTITUTIONAL in all States. This meant that is was completely legal for men to marry men and women to marry women, like it always should have been. Ergo, if you were refusing a marriage license to a same-sex couple, you would be doing something that was now ILLEGAL.

Do you hear that, Kim Davis supporters? SHE BROKE THE LAW. Not only did Kim Davis not do her job, but she also disregarded part of the American Constitution, siting her rights as a "Christian". You don't get to replace a law with another law that you made up. "One Nation Under God" does not mean that you get to pretend that every other law, including the amended laws, do not exist.

Sure, you can't keep someone like that in prison. I guarantee that there would be a lot of uproar in my firearm case as well. Regardless of religion, the world hates to see anyone imprisoned for their religious beliefs (at least the smart part of the world does). But Kimmy's supporters are forgetting that this isn't a religious issue. Plain and simple, Kim Davis, the martyr Of Rowan County, Kentucky, broke the law.

You can say that you don't agree with her being in prison, but don't celebrate her. Don't butcher Survivor's classic victory anthem with the blade of your idiocy. Don't call her brave, or strong, or a voice for the people. Don't say that she matters and don't give her another interview where she can talk about her mind-numbing excuses. And above all things, don't call her a hero.

Just don't do it. Don't sully the Christian faith with someone so repugnant. If you are holding the torch for Kimmy, put it down and find yourself a real hero (you know, a person who's actually done something with their lives). It's time for you to wash out the bad taste that American religious/political beliefs leaves in the mouth of the global community. Get smarter and cut the pseudo-theological crap.

People like Kim Davis always pray for justice to prevail, and for God to choose the victors of these battles. Be careful what you wish for, kids.