This year, I've had a hard time getting into the holiday mood. Between violent clashes at Wal-Mart and on Wall Street, unrest abroad, and the nastiest crop of American politicians in recent memory, I think we need to update the ol' Christmas catalog. So here's
DOUG'S DOZEN: 12 CHRISTMAS CAROLS FOR A REALLY BAD YEAR
1. WHAT CHRISTMAS
2. DECK 'EM AT MALLS
3. GOD DAMN YE, FAIRY GENTLEMEN (sung by The Bachmanns)
4. SILENCE, NEWT!
5. O COME, YE UNFAITHFUL
6. THE FIRST NO-WELFARE
7. I'LL BE HOMELESS FOR CHRISTMAS
8. HERE COPS COME ASSAULTING US
9. O, HOLY SHIT!
10. WE THREE DEPOSED DICTATORS OF ORIENT ARE
11. HAVE YOURSELF A MONETARY CRISIS
And Ann Coulter's smash hit:
12. ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTIANS, IS JEWS
(No video this time...but if you're in the mood, click on this beloved classic from last week,
...and remember, every time you click Funny, a writer gets his win!)
Special thanks to Dean Stefan!
See more Doug's Dozen lists at www.dougsdozen.com.
And watch Doug's Dozen videos on FunnyOrDie.
How to vote
Vote-by-mail ballot request deadline: Varies by state
For the Nov 3 election: States are making it easier for citizens to vote absentee by mail this year due to the coronavirus. Each state has its own rules for mail-in absentee voting. Visit your state election office website to find out if you can vote by mail.Get more information
In-person early voting dates: Varies by state
Sometimes circumstances make it hard or impossible for you to vote on Election Day. But your state may let you vote during a designated early voting period. You don't need an excuse to vote early. Visit your state election office website to find out whether they offer early voting.My Election Office
General Election: Nov 3, 2020
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