I would like to wholeheartedly endorse the movement to mandate drug tests for welfare recipients. I know that many here might disagree with me, but I think it is the only responsible thing to do.
After all, aren't these freeloaders given our tax dollars? (Hence the new site notwithmytaxdollars.com) Shouldn't we know if they are harming themselves, and affecting their judgment? Plus, once someone takes America's money, they accept being judged by other Americans. And I am sure we all disapprove of this kind of drug abuse.
Exactly how high were the welfare recipients at AIG, Citi Group, Lehman Brothers, Merrill Lynch, GM, and Bank of America? Based on their judgment and lack of responsibility, the clinical diagnosis would be "really fucking high."
But high on what, exactly? We as a nation need to determine these dangerous substances to prevent future relapses in economic judgment. While the glib insulation of these captains of industry might suggest being stoned on some hydroponic kush or similar strain of Indica, their actions of chasing bad money with our money show the combative yet clueless character of college kids swilling Jagermesiter, or Mickey Rourke in Barfly.
However, the manic pace at which these welfare recipients raced through their bailout monies to pimp out their offices while millions of Americans struggle under their ruinous financial management seems to convincingly indicate that they were all as coked up as Al Pacino before he got gunned down in Scarface.
Yet, to look at many of these investment strategies -- such as pushing default-ready loans as a commodity to every investor in the world, or building overpriced cars that run on 10 MPG -- it suggests that these Rand-ian geniuses were blotto on blotter paper, tripping balls and looking at investment portfolios make groovy patterns as they spiral downward. Timothy Leary might well have been a Keynesian economist ahead of his time.
Until the Treasury Department demands drug tests of every single employee of these "Too Big To Fail" businesses (guess what - they failed), we will not know what was driving these enriched, inebriated decision makers. Their euphoric holiday spending with money meant to stable the American and International economies were likely influenced by MDMA (ecstasy), although there have not been reports of AIG traders dancing like pricks.
I recognize that the intention in legislation of drug testing welfare recipients was targeted at poor people who could not really afford drugs (however much they might appreciate the levity), because Republicans seem to have no problem telling people unable to speak for themselves how they should live their life.
As such, in response to the many concerned conservatives about CEO's being robbed of their bonus bounty -- even if it is rewarding catastrophic failure the likes of which human civilization has not seen before -- I believe that this approach will be considered fair.
If a welfare mother raising a couple of kids on her own while trying to work is held to such high standards of a drug-free life for receiving hundreds of dollars a month in government assistance, then obviously it stands to reason that someone receiving 1000 times the government money should be held one thousand times more personally responsible for their actions and behavior.
Were these titans of industry abusing psychiatric prescriptions? Should somebody have been making sure they were taking their medication? Perhaps every-day anti-depressants should be stepped up to anti-psychotics, or something hardcore like Lithium to treat the bipolar disorder of megalomaniacal bankers who demand flush compensation for undermining the economy of what was the last superpower in the world.
There seems to be a disconnect today on the Right, where government intervention into poor people's lives, Third World countries, civil liberties, gay couples, wombs everywhere, and the washed up industries of their donors is necessary and right -- yet any government oversight on how its money is spent is wrong, helping home-owners mired in the same mortgage mess as the bankers draws self-righteous losers ranting, and jump-starting the D.O.A. economy is hysterically labeled "Socialism" by millions of people who do not even know what it actually means and how far off we actually are from it. (Hint: Socialism is like the opening of every Star Wars movie: "A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away...")
Perhaps much wider drug testing will be needed.