Drunk Man Arrested For Tackling Parking Lot Security Robot

“I don’t think this is a fair fight. Really, totally unacceptable,” a local said.

The battle for the future of humanity escalated last week, thanks to a drunk man who tackled a security robot in a Silicon Valley parking lot.

Next stop: “The Matrix,” if we’re lucky. Otherwise? Probably “The Terminator.”

Jason Sylvain, 41, attacked the crime-fighting K5 droid in the parking lot of robot manufacturer Knightscope the evening of April 19, Mountain View Police Department spokeswoman Katie Nelson told HuffPost. She said an employee for Knightscope detained Sylvain before officers got to the scene.

“When we arrived, we met with Sylvain, and as we were speaking with him, he appeared confused, had red, glassy eyes and a strong odor of alcohol emitted from him,” Nelson said.

Here’s a video of the K5 droid, which is reportedly back in action after the scuffle:

Locals weren’t eager to defend a fellow human for standing up to our robot overlords.

“I think this is a pretty pathetic incident,” Mountain View resident Eamonn Callon told ABC7. “It shows how spineless the drunk guys in Silicon Valley really are because they attack a victim who doesn’t even have any arms.”

“I don’t think this is a fair fight. Really, totally unacceptable,” Callon added.

But make no mistake, it’s truly a battle for the future of our species. Last year, a Knightscope droid fired the first shot and ran over a toddler in the Stanford Shopping Center parking lot. The child suffered minor injuries to his leg and foot.

In Sylvain’s defense, Knightscope’s K5 also strongly resembles another droid built explicitly to be tackled:

Sylvain faces charges of prowling and being drunk in public, Nelson told HuffPost.



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