'Twas just nights before Christmas, and all through downtown,
Drunken Santas were stumbling and roaming around.
One had enough "cheer," and started to whine
For a ride on a duck bus near Fourth Ave and Pine.
No ticket he had, so the driver refused
The poor confused Santa, who was stinking of booze.
Santa, dismayed at his lack of a ride,
Was forced off the bus; so he climbed up the side.
He ripped down some lights, all merry and bright,
Then wobbly Santa ran into the night.
But mall cops got Santa before he went far,
And Santa said sorry, and that he'd meant no harm.
Police let him go, since he put up no fight.
Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.