This Election Was Colossally Dumb And We're All Lucky We Survived It

Zero days left.

Election days are kind of slow, so here’s an arbitrary and unorganized list of dumb campaign moments. Enjoy. Or don’t. The important thing is this will soon all be over. 

Let’s start with the creepy hidden camera video Bobby Jindal released of his kids to announce his presidential campaign:

Remember this guy?

This isn’t from the campaign, but Donald Trump wearing Zubaz shorts in the early 90s is dumb:

Donald Trump wearing dumb clothes. He played a major role in this dumb election.
Donald Trump wearing dumb clothes. He played a major role in this dumb election.

Remember the Libertarian Party convention?

 “Bernie Sandwiches”

Remember how much money people spent on Jeb Bush?

Remember Lincoln Chafee’s response to why he voted to undo the Glass-Steagall Act?

"The Glass-Steagall was my very first vote, I'd just arrived, my dad had died in office." Lincoln Chafee

So many GOP debates:

Remember this?

Remember how Trump floated the idea that the late Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia was murdered? 

“They say they found a pillow on his face, which is a pretty unusual place to find a pillow." Donald Trump on Michael Savage's radio show

Remember all the memories that Breitbart News gave us? Oh, and also all the anti-semitism?

Remember Libertarian presidential candidate Darryl Perry attacking his own lectern during the party’s only primary debate?

Remember the Cruz/Fiorina ticket? 

Remember how the media lost its mind during Hillary Clinton’s “listening tour?”

Remember how Ivanka, Eric AND Barron Trump all voted the same number of times for their dad in New York’s primary?

Remember how the Clinton campaign thought voters wanted to see Rob Reiner sing?

Never forget the taco bowl tweet:

Remember Mark Halperin’s nonsensical debate ratings?

Remember how Ben Carson would handle a mass shooting

"I would say, ‘Hey guys, everybody attack him. He may shoot me, but he can’t get us all.'" Ben Carson on Fox News

Remember the press credentials at the Green Party convention?

Remember when The New Republic wanted to have carnal knowledge of Donald Trump?

Remember what a terrible politician Carly Fiorina is?

Remember Jim Webb?

Remember when Trump served “Trump steaks” to the press and they weren’t Trump steaks?

Remember when Ted Cruz prepared to release his clutch of eggs for a beach birthing? Nature is beautiful.

Remember Trump and Halperin’s ride on that Zamboni?

Remember when Rand Paul wanted attention?

Remember Chris Christie’s ennui?

Remember CPAC and how it’s always dumb?

Remember sticker guy?

Remember when Heidi Cruz’s election went from bad to worse?

Remember when Jeb! put on that hoodie?

And who can forget when it all began? Please clap. 

Huffington Post reporter Eliot Nelson’s book, The Beltway Bible: A Totally Serious A-Z Guide to Our No-Good, Corrupt, Incompetent, Terrible, Depressing and Sometimes Hilarious Government, is out now.