Dust to Dust, or How Cherry Blossoms Can Remind Us to Appreciate Life

Dust to Dust, or How Cherry Blossoms Can Remind Us to Appreciate Life
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A traveling storyteller recently shared with me that the Japanese have a word, Sakura, which refers to the annual appearance of cherry blossoms. They revere this phenomenon as it reminds them of the renewal that the spring season brings and also the fleeting nature of life as the blossoms only bloom for a couple of weeks. This image came to mind a few days ago when I attended the funeral for a young mother who had lived nearby. There were a couple of moments during this sad occasion that touched me deeply and made me reflect on how enjoying life each day needs to be a priority.

A small group of us neighbors took a train on a sweltering day to the outlying town where the ceremony was being held. We found the church, hot as a sauna and we men were doubly impacted, imprisoned in suits. The family priest started by reciting the standard text and then shared some highlights from the woman's life. The ceremony also included a young amateur guitar player, who although hitting some awkward notes, played from his heart. The first song was Eric Clapton's Tears In Heaven. Thinking about what inspired the song -- the death of Clapton's young son -- I was saddened to think someone from my generation had passed away with so much left to live and give. You expect people from our parent's generation to be the first to go but a mother of two children passing away was a tragedy.

The fourteen year old daughter gave a sweet remembrance and I was touched by her composure and heartfelt expression which was more in tune with her mothers nature than the frequent references to sadness and mourning. Until then the mood had been somber, which was in contrast to how her mother had lived her life to the full, as a stylish Italian lady with an active social life.

After the ceremony, the urn containing the ashes was brought to the gravesite for a few final words. The priest gave the last benediction with the familiar "ashes to ashes, dust to dust" quote. At that moment, standing amidst a field of gravestones, the reality of the situation really struck me. Her ashes were being returned with a sense of finality to the earth from whence she and we all came. Our bodies are composed of the same elements found in soil and we will all return to nature one day. I reflected on how there are three major events in life: being born, living and then dying and two of the three have already happened. So finally, all that's left is to enjoy each day before we return to where we started. Life is too short, even if you live to be one hundred.

After the priest finished the eulogy, mourners could lay a flower on the grave and have a private moment of last sharing. This simple act of respect reminded me that the kanji character for the word sakura not only refers to flowers that bloom for a short while but it also means to smile or laugh. That is why the Japanese gather each year with family and friends by the flowering trees to have parties in a thousand year old tradition called watching blossoms. I was reminded that this spirit of hope and humility is important to cultivate, as each day is a special moment to treasure. And also, I thought back to the last time I saw my neighbor, where we took turns making each other laugh out loud at the absurdity of our lives.

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