El Chanclaso: You Can't Have It Your Way

What is El Chanclaso?
For many Latinos, a chancla is more than summer footwear. The flip flops on our mothers' feet were also impromptu and easily accessed weapons. Back talk, ignoring orders or fighting with your siblings could, without warning, result in a chancla on the rear end or, if distance was a factor, flying at you.

Now we're all grown up. But some people still deserve chanclasos. And we're going to let them have it here in our weekly column, El Chanclaso. Every Friday, Sergio, our resident chancludo, will turn a critical eye on political shenanigans, and current issues and events with his chancla firmly in hand. Depending on the severity of the misbehavior, being on the wrong end of the chancla could get you one or two chanclasos. Sergio will also give aplausos to those who make us proud.You've been warned. Now, behave!

Marriage is for everyone

I'm giving a big chanclaso to Rose Marie Belforti, a town clerk in Ledyard, N.Y., a pueblillo with fewer than 2,000 residents. Ms. Belforti has been the town clerk for over a decade, easily winning her re-election each time she's been up. As I've mentioned before, New York passed a marriage equality law, but Ms. Belforti believes homosexuality is a sin and is refusing to issue marriage licenses to same sex couples. I respect her religious beliefs, even though I feel they're completely misguided and ill informed. ¡Pero hijole! the law is the law, and she should do her job and issue those marriage licenses. That's what the people of Ledyard elected her to do - to follow the rule of law. So the gays make you queasy, pues andale go find another job where you don't have to associate with any. Good luck with that, by the way.

Bank fees for everyone, too
Remember when the federal government bailed out the big banks when they were on the brink of collapse? Well, those big sinvergüenza banks, never ones to forget the generosity of the American taxpayer, will now charge you a debit card fee for using your money. That's right, you will now have to pay a monthly fee for spending your money. ¿Como la ven? Bank of America, the largest bank in the U. S., will start charging the $5 monthly fee next year. Also, Bank of America announced they will lay off more than 10,000 workers this year. I'm handing out chanclasos to all those banks charging debit card fees, but Bank of America gets the hardest chanclaso on their greedy manitas.

Aplausos
I'm not the biggest fan of baseball but at least the season is finally winding down. Felicidades to the Detroit Tigers, New York Yankees, Tampa Bay Rays, Texas Rangers, Arizona Diamondbacks, Milwaukee Brewers, St. Louis Cardinals, and the Philadelphia Phillies for making it to the postseason. ¡Échenle ganas!