Elation and Despair - The Many Coloured Embrace of the Cycle of Growth

I woke up this morning with the beautiful realisation that I have reached A Somewhere.

It is A Somewhere that I have been walking towards for some time and now, and as I witness my feet stepping Right Into it, it feels wonderful. There are, of course, always more Somewhere’s to walk towards, but in this moment, I open into the Elated Contentment of realising that I have made it to THIS Somewhere.

It feels like the world is Washing my Being when I wake up like this… Washing me Clean… Washing my Soul… and Filling Me Up with Love

I Breath. Life. In.

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I light the Magical Amber Resin blend that alights my soul and go to sit in the mottled sun to begin my Beloved Morning Ritual. It all just Feels So Good… all the way through my Soul!

In moments like these, it really feels like my Soul has literally expanded. And perhaps it has. Perhaps that is what Elation is - the Expansion of the Soul into a new shape or form. Perhaps it is the feeling of my Soul finally fitting comfortably in the New Shoes after a period of Growing Pains.

It is a relief. A breakthrough.

It is the Completion Phase of a cycle of metaphorical death, growth and renewal that has lead to reaching This Somewhere. It is The Joy Appreciation Elation part of the Cycle of Growth, and it is exquisite. 

It is also Fleeting. 

Moments later, my soul begins to ask more of me. My soul sets its sight on a New Growth Edge and begins the somewhat uncomfortable deepening, opening, reforming and growing process that leads me towards this New Edge.

It is a Cycle of Growth that holds a Many Coloured Embrace

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Joy Appreciation Elation

In these moment I walk around with a Delighted Beam on my face that holds the vibration of Expansive Love. It truly is exquisite to inhabit! I cherish it! My body revels in it!

As a soul that is both intoxicated by these Feelings of Ecstasy and simultaneously Hell Bent on Evolution, I find that there is a delicate balance that I need to be aware of.

When I find myself standing in a Somewhere and my heart lights up with a Joy, it is easy to think that I Am There - that I Have Arrived. I forget, for a moment, that it is part of an Ever Flowing Cycle. There seems to be a tendency to put Much Importance on the Reaching of this Phase, as if it is the Most Valued Bit.

It is important, yes! But it is not the End Point. It couldn’t exist without the other parts.

Without the rest of the Cycle, it wouldn’t have a point of Experiential Contrast to help the Feels of the Feel So Good bit, Feel So Good.

And at the same time, I feel it is also important to remember to let the Feels So Good in! I know that I can get caught in the Growth and Challenge phases of the Cycle and forget to take a moment to really let the Somewhere sink into my bones.

I can forget to really stop to appreciate the shifts that have occurred in my life. I can get so caught up on aiming for the next Somewhere, that I don’t let my body take in the new and expanded energy.

I feel like it is a really important part of our energetic relationship with the universe to stop and take in these moments. It is a way of saying Thank You and letting our cells Know and Feel the New and Expanded Vibration. It reminds me of the saying ‘Happy thank you, Universe, more please!’. It creates an energetic recalibration so that there is a higher Point of Attraction for the next wave of Somewhere’s to meet and grow from.

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New Internal Edge

And Soon, after this Point of Attraction settles in, my soul begins to ask More of Me.

When this Soon becomes a Now, it usually hits me in the wee hours of the morning. It comes as a intense bodily vibration of anxiety or energy. It is an emotional upheaval that feels like it is trying to escape my body and my whole body is literally vibrating. 

It is the Bodily Reflection of my Souls Call to Growth.

This Call to Growth shows up differently for each of us. For some it shows up as Cranky Pants. For some it shows up as Restlessness. For some it is a Deep and Desolate Discontent. And for some it comes as a Yearning.

However it arrives, it is showing us that Refinements need to happen. Our Souls are Speaking to us of a new Somewhere.

Sometimes my Soul talks to me about Massive Life Re-forms. Sometimes they are a Subtle Shape-Shifts. And sometimes it is a simple as turning looking in a New Direction for a New Perspective. Anything that is not aligned to the vibration of this new Somewhere starts to feel Out Of Place.

I think of it as continual Life and Soul Upgrades.

We reach a point of evolution in our soul or emotional body and then this becomes the new platform for the next Cycle of Growth to boost from.

It feels like my Spirit has moved to a New Level and is calling my Human Embodiment to catch up. It's my Soul is calling on the more dense matter of my Human Experience to step up and Meet It In Flight.

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Discomfort and the Caterpillar

This is when the Owies set in.

Sometimes it feels devastating because the Shapes we are being called to Shift in our lives have been in place for eons. They are so familiar, steady and ‘safe’. Sometimes it feels like a Square Peg Round Hole kinda dealio, because our old paradigm Square Peg simply doesn’t fit in the new evolutionary Round Hole.

Our Body Soul Complex has to go about a Caterpillar Like Restructure of form, in order to accommodate the new improved Soul Upgrade.

Sometimes it feels like Too Much!!

Sometimes, my Human Self wants to collapse beneath the monstrosity of what is being asked of me and I just want to hide away in the Cozy Dark Places of Familiarity. 

Sometimes my body screams at me and says there is no f*%&*ing way that any of this is even POSSIBLE, so just shut up and leave me alone! Sometimes it feels so painful that I have a Trick of Brain Moment and think that the shifts my Soul is calling for are Not That Important, and that SURELY, I can put them aside for a moment and deal with them later.

I have done this in the past, only for them to Side Swipe me with Freight Train like intensity down the track. This discomfort can’t be ignored. It can’t be pushed away. For a Soul that Seeks Evolution, it can’t be denied.

There is only one way. And that way is Through.

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Courage and Our Souls Knowing

Our Souls know the path well. 

Our human form may have it's Knickers In a Knot about it, but our soul has COMPLETE faith in us and a Deep understanding of the Cycles of Life and Growth. Our Human Self needs to call on our Courage to meet these edges and create the changes that our Soul is calling for.

At this point, my soul begins to ask me questions. It begins to show me glimpses of What Else is Possible beyond the Freak Out. My Soul begins to talk to me. Sometimes she Speaks Softly and sometimes she is Wild in her demands and brings an urgency with her that is unexpected. This usually only happens when I have ignored her Quiet Beckoning in the past.

What do you REALLY want in your world? What do you REALLY desire in life? What lights you up - because that will show us what This New Shape will look like

This Phase requires us to Dig Deep and enquire as to what needs reshaping and what the New Form may look like.

It requires us to own the Shadow Aspects inside the Old Form and explore what Phycological Aspects that are keeping the Old Form place even though it is no longer serving us.

It requires us to Honour Our Souls Messages and allow the New Form to take shape in our vision.

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Action and Actualisation

As the New Form reveals itself and the pathways start to Light Up, we are called into Action. It might be as simple as a Clarity Conversation that needs to be had, or an Uncomfortable Email that needs to be sent to reshape a work agreement. Or it might be epic! It might be the end of a 15 year friendship or relationship or the separation of a family.

Whatever it’s form, there is a Moment, when the Courage we have been building Meets an Action. There is a Moment, where the changes that began in the Internal World, start to meet our external world.

And the New Form begins to actualise.

The last one of these for me felt epic! It was a Week of Action that landed after a month of Internal Re-shaping and my goodness it required Gumption!

All of the changes that were coming forward in my life were Refinements, Reshapes - and ultimately, Necessary and Beautiful - but my goodness it was Squirmey along the way. There were Multiple big conversations, Deep Life Decisions, Shifts in Ways of Being and meeting the edges of Survival Fear and Freak Outs. It felt Huge.

And through it all, I was called to Deepen my own Trust in Myself and my Belief in my own Worth.

It was a week that called me to access my courage and shed The Old across all areas of my life in order to open pathways for Deeper Luminosity and the ever more Real. 

Some of it I navigated Gracefully with love, for some I was a Bucket of Nerves, in some I was more Reactive and Ungraceful than I like to be, showing me aspects of self that lay dormant. And all of them were the Multi Faceted Actions that I needed to take in order for my Soul to reach the new Somewhere that I was reaching for.

It was edgy and it was hard, but I am Here… a month later, in the Somewhere I was walking towards.

And the cycle begins again... in this awesome, excruciating and exquisite Human Experience…

♡ ♡ ♡

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