POLITICS

Guns At The GOP Convention, And Other Not Totally Crazy 2016 Scenarios

No scenario is too wild for 2016.

Last year produced campaign shock after shock, led by Donald Trump. This year could be more insane.

The list of campaign trends that we at First to Last did NOT see coming is mortifyingly long. And we are experts! No one thought that Donald Trump would be where he is today. NO ONE. No one expected Bernie Sanders to have raised nearly as much money as Hillary Clinton. Same for the ever-leaking tire that is (was?) Jeb Bush, the son and brother of presidents. Same for the rise of Ted Cruz, a touch-the-wet-paint-if-you-dare wingnut who makes Barry Goldwater look like LBJ. 

So, for our first entry of 2016, we at FTL are determined to get ahead of the curve -- and stay there. Our method is to float some of the most amazing and/or improbable campaign possibilities we can think of. If past is prologue, then, based on 2015, at least a few could come true. 

And then we will be seers. 

RANK SCENARIO
1
GOP DELEGATES OPENLY CARRY GUNS AT GOP CONVENTION
Yes, Ohio is an open-carry state. The barrels of the Glocks of Ted Cruz’s delegates will be wrapped in bacon.
2
REAL -- AND WE MEAN REAL -- FLOOR FIGHT AT THE GOP CONVENTION
See above and call Quentin Tarantino.
3
BERNIE SANDERS RUNS AS AN INDEPENDENT
The senator from Ben & Jerry isn’t officially a Democrat and never has been. If he doesn’t get the nomination, why not go it alone the way he always has?
4
HILLARY'S EMAILS TURN INTO A REAL STORY (I.E., THE AUTHORITIES FIND SOMETHING INDICTABLE)
D.C. wiseguys say the only person who can deny her the nomination is clean-as-a-whistle FBI Director James Comey.
5
ELIZABETH WARREN JUMPS IN
See above.
6
JEB BUSH MAKES A COMEBACK
We feel like we've heard this story before, but a hundred million plus has to be worth SOMETHING.
7
DONALD TRUMP RUNS AS AN INDEPENDENT
RNC Chair Reince Prebius’s worst nightmare comes true.
8
RUBIO & CRUZ (OR CRUZ & RUBIO) TEAM UP FOR ALL CUBAN-AMERICAN TICKET
The U.S. now has diplomatic relations with Cuba, so maybe these two guys will make up -- and team up.
9
TED CRUZ ACCIDENTALLY REVEALS HE'S CANADIAN
Makes devastating, way-too-revealing references to hockey, LaBatts and curling.
10
JOE BIDEN JUMPS IN AT THE 11TH HOUR (REALLY, 11:59)
Say it’s so, Joe. Delaware is solid for you, even now.
11
MARTIN O'MALLEY WINS SUPPORT OF IOWA SNOW STORM GUY
Which is the break he needs to storm to the nomination.
Photos: Getty, Associated Press
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