Think of it as “gay for pray.”
Elijah Daniel decided Friday that he was going rewrite the Good Book to make it good and gay.
God may have created the Earth and heavens in six days, but apparently Daniel only needed two to write his book and turn it into a Kindle edition on Amazon.
Last month, Daniel managed to worm his way to the mayorship of Hell, Michigan, in just two days. He immediately outlawed heterosexuality before being impeached.
From the first sentence, it is clear that Daniel’s version has some fundamental differences with the standard Scriptures.
In Daniel’s version, Carly Rae Jepsen replaces Noah on the ark and Jesus turns water into mimosas, not wine.
Daniel also changed the name of Satan to Donald Trump (but you probably suspected that).
So far, Amazon reviewers are singing the praises of “The Holy Bible ... But Gayer.” It’s averaging 4.9 stars out of 5 from more than 100 reviews.
Some of the comments include:
“Finally a Bible that speaks the truth! Will make a great read with the family when we gather for the holidays!!”
“I read this to my Christian relatives over brunch. Appetizers were thrown and jaws dragged across the floor. Gag. Today was a good slay for this gay.”
Some reviewers did praise it, but with reservations.
“I only gave it four out of five stars for the outrageous lack of lesbians. But it’s already pretty gay so I still recommend it to everyone, human or not.”
The response toward Daniel’s book pushed it to No.1 on Amazon’s list of Christian eBooks and Bibles until it was briefly removed, according to the Independent.
However, Daniel soon discovered the Lord does provide.