OWN

The Crucial Lesson Ellen DeGeneres Finally Learned About Relationships

It's never worth trying to "fix" someone.

Ellen DeGeneres used to be like a lot of people: She thought she could “fix” her partners. Now, she knows better.

Opening up to “Oprah’s Master Class” last fall, the comedian spoke about her past relationships and her misguided approach, which she says often left her feeling empty and unhappy.

“I used to be in relationships where I would meet somebody and I would think, ‘Oh, there’s so much good here, and if only this. If only I could just...’” Ellen says in the above clip. “I would be in relationships because, obviously, I saw a lot of good in that person. But I ignored that I wasn’t happy or that I was getting hurt.”

With her wife of eight years, actress Portia de Rossi, Ellen says that things are much different.

“I’m in a relationship now where I have equal love,” she says. “I love her and she loves me. And we respect each other, and we’re kind and we’re gentle.”

But it’s more than just love, Ellen points out. Her relationship with Portia also includes a deep understanding of one another at the core. “As someone once said, ‘It is wonderful to be loved, but it’s profound to be understood,’” Ellen says.

With this connection at the foundation of the relationship, Ellen says she has come to learn one important lesson about love and life.

“I’ve learned that if something’s good, it’s good.”

Another of Ellen’s relationship experiences:

HuffPost

BEFORE YOU GO

PHOTO GALLERY
Ellen DeGeneres Through the Years
CONVERSATIONS