<em>Ladies Who Launch</em>: Mama, May I be Frank?

Working with women 24/7 through Ladies Who Launch, I have the distinct privilege to hear the dirty little secrets of motherhood.Here's what I've learned.
This post was published on the now-closed HuffPost Contributor platform. Contributors control their own work and posted freely to our site. If you need to flag this entry as abusive, send us an email.

Working with women 24/7 through Ladies Who Launch, I have the distinct privilege to not
only hear the dirty little secrets of business but also of marriages, friendships, broken partnerships, lawsuits, celebrity relationships that work or fall flat on their faces....and also about the realities of motherhood. As I get closer to my own due date I feel more and more transparent about all the changes going on in my life and body--with hundreds of women on speed dial who share my journey (how awful is that word??). Here's what I've learned:

1. Glowing on the Outside - Juicy on the Inside. The amount of new noises and juices you produce as a pregnant person is somewhat incredible. I've started seeing myself more like a science project because I'm such a radical version of my former self that this is the only way to truly cope. Panty liners are my new best friend. Nasal congestion is common for many - which produces phlegm (I know, did I have to? Yes I did.) Hunger pains become violent and can be noisy as hell. Sweat (especially now in July) is not optional--it just lives in all the new crevices you
thought belonged to "other" people, and sometimes requires showering twice a day. Now you understand use of word "juicy." But it's better than "moist."

2. Gotta Make Nice. A member of our Incubator program, a very successful handbag designer and mother of two, said to me the other day, "Do you get sick of people asking you how you feel yet?" and the answer is yes. It's wonderful that people care, but the most honest answer will totally repulse them. I feel fine--yup. Except my pelvis has so much pressure on it that it feels like I have a stress fracture. Going to the bathroom can either be a big success or giant bummer, depending on what I've eaten. Sex is a reality for keeping a marriage happy but is so awkward that it renders itself hilarious and curious at the MOST interesting moments--IE, the bladder has little control at this point. I walk like a duck/penguin. Public speaking leaves me winded. Insomnia from racing brain and elephant body leaves me watching Roseanne until 4am. So that's how I am!

3. Savoring the Now. Yes, I'm reading Eckhart Tolle and trying to be in the now, particularly
since the "later" involves a lot of all-night-breast-feeds and poopy diapers. But there is something about "now" that you also wish would come to an end 'cause your feet are swollen and your face looks like a pancake. No more cheekbones! So that is my pregnancy rant. I wonder if Nicole, Halle and Angie all felt this way? Please tell me yes. Meanwhile, I live with total appreciation that all of it is in my reality. The truth is, I waited a long time for all this. So as much as it's "ewww" it's really "yey!"

Popular in the Community

Close

HuffPost Shopping’s Best Finds

MORE IN LIFE