How's your mental diet?
I am not talking about what you eat today, but what you allow into your mind! Isn't it just as important? It is, because, like food, you have to live with every last consequence of your choices, and often that's unpleasant if you aren't choosing consciously. If food is your physical fuel, then thoughts (which lead to feelings) are your spiritual fuel.
As one of my favorite manifesting teachers (Neville Goddard) asks: "What thoughts are you 'consenting' to?" I love that he used the word "consent," because it describes the active role each of us has with our thoughts, as author of our mental habits.
Do you know you are consenting? And if you knew, or now know, that it is up to you to consent or not, to which thoughts will you say "yes" and to which will you say "no"? I did a little soul-searching myself and made my lists of yeses and nos: the voices I will allow airtime in my head and the voices I won't. I invite you to do the same.
The "Yes" List
1) My Intuition
Sometimes I need to set aside special time for this or make sure to take breaks throughout my day. I may need to bring in music or art, certainly meditation, to settle me down enough to hear this voice. Intuition must not be confused with moodiness. We all honestly do know the difference. Your intuition will never tell you to forsake your integrity, so let that be an indicator if you're in doubt.
2) My Coach
I looked long and hard to find Lauren Zander, someone whose integrity I truly admired and who wouldn't listen to any BS from me. Every time she questions my thinking, I learn and grow.
3) My Inner Lawyer
I will listen to the one fighting for my dreams and against my excuses, but not the opposing lawyer (aka the brat/chicken*).
4) My Posse
Those people who like to be around me, knowing all my good and bad qualities. These people are familiar with both my dreams and my BS, and don't let me get away with rolling out any BS thoughts, theories or excuses when my dreams are at stake. They will also listen compassionately if I just have to "purge" some dark thoughts out of my head, sort through my feelings and true beliefs, and clear the way for resolution.
5) Great Inspirations
Some of my personal favorite outside voices to let in are: Elena Brower, Patricia Moreno, Mastin Kipp, Kris Carr and Dr. Mark Hyman. These people have been well vetted for great spiritual context, super-smart thinking and tons of righteous actions, i.e., personal integrity! That doesn't make them perfect human beings -- heavens, no! But it makes them fun and trustworthy to let into my head! I always feel better when I do.
The "No" List
(What I don't consent to listening to, at least when I am in "Integrity")
1) *The Brat and Chicken
These voices are the ones that sound like they trying to get me off the hook from a promise or a dream. Having the right consequences for my promises usually ousts them from my head. Also, confessing the arguments of these voices to one of the people above is useful for reducing or eliminating their power.
2) Bad Theories
Anything that makes me cranky. They sound like this: "My kids can't simmer down," or "My rash will never go away," or "My staff will not cooperate." Those are theories, not the truth, and bad theories are not allowed any mental real estate!
3) News
If the news is promoting bad theories in order to get more clicks/viewers and sell advertising (like: "Another storm system headed our way! Worry!"), then I'm not playing. If I really need to know something in the news, it will get to me. I trust this.
4) Gossip
Same concept. I don't need the bad news about anyone. I'll form my own opinions and let you form your own. Unless someone needs help or I need help sorting myself out, and then that's a special protected context in which to discuss other people where we both agree we are headed toward a solution and won't stop until we get there.
5) Negative People or Influences
By this, I mean anything that represents me or anyone else selling out (if I've not been brought in to help), listening to someone complain when that person has no desire to feel better, and/or listening to any fear-based conversation that is undistinguished as such. Examples of these are: a sales pitch for something I don't believe in, a degrading or scary television program, or a new acquaintance who seems constantly upset, but doesn't want help.
6) Known Liars Who Don't Want to Change
This may seem obvious, but are these on your "no" list? Examples are: people who keep hurting your feelings and say they want to change, but haven't, and people you've caught cheating on you who now say they want you back. (Please note -- if these are very close family members or friends, exceptions should be made for certain kinds of conversations. See a coach for more help designing this.)
I hope these lists have made you stop and reflect. The New Year is a great time for reflection, a time to wrap up bad, old mental habits and usher in new, better ones. If you want more instruction or ideas on how to do that, join us for "End Your Year With a Bang" on December 13. We want your 2013 to be your best, happiest year yet!
For more by Laurie Gerber, click here.
For more on emotional wellness, click here.