I'm sure you've been told that it's ok to cry. I'm sure you've also been told that you're "overreacting" that you need to, "suck it up" or "put on a brave face". For some reason we are taught that physically expressing our emotions, especially as adults, isn't appropriate in certain places or at certain times. Although they may have the best intentions, anyone that tells you to stop feeling and stop expressing may not understand how important it is. Airing your emotions in a physical way is one of the most vulnerable things you can do. But it's also, contrary to the notion of putting on that brave face, one of the most valiant. Crying, screaming, feeling sadness, anger or pain are truly signs of strength. And they can be much healthier for your body and mind than bottling up your feelings. Spring, the season of renewal, is a perfect time to explore how to access and express these emotions. Here are a few reasons why expressing your emotions physically can actually strengthen you.
Crying Communicates
Humans are the only known species to cry as an expression of sadness, says NPR's Allison Aubrey: "One theory is that crying may have evolved as a kind of signal -- a signal that was valuable because it could only be picked up by those closest to us who could actually see our tears. Tears let our intimates in -- people within a couple of feet of us, who would be more likely to help". Think about it. Crying is a physical signal that you can only really see when you're near someone. It physically invites those closest to us in, it asks for help and support. So why do we fight it? Why do we feel selfish or even silly when we cry? It's not just about you. Crying lets people in, which is something many of us are afraid to do. But the truth is that the more you allow people into your life in an emotional way, the more supported you'll feel. Communicating your emotions and asking for help allows you to find solutions and can often make you feel better faster.
Release and Find Peace
Beyond signaling to others, crying is an incredible way to release and relax the body. Crying happens when we have a physical and emotional buildup of tension. How often do you cry because of several different things building up at once? I know I always break down when I feel overwhelmed by multiple stresses at once. You already know how much and how often your body responds to stress (think about how your shoulders feel after a hard day at the office), don't fight it! Allowing yourself to cry or access your emotions physically can often shorten the duration and intensity of those feelings.
Primal Scream for the Soul
Have you ever been so angry that you've just wanted to scream? The voice is such a big part of our emotional selves. Screaming and using the voice to convey intense emotions has been studied by psychotherapists throughout history. Specialist in "Primal Therapy" Dr. Arthur Janov says that screaming is a way to release repressed anger and pain. Janov believes that it's important to let go of our emotions through the body. So the next time you're furious, head into a quiet space and let yourself go. Scream if you want to, use any words that you need to, give yourself permission to be wild and get it out. Just remember to take some time afterwards to think or write about how you feel, and how you want to address the situation in a proactive (and quieter) way.
Allowing yourself to be vulnerable alone and with others, and to see the bravery in that vulnerability is an important lesson to learn. Be mindful and always remember to take care of yourself and always give yourself permission to express, release and communicate when you need to. Your life is your party, so cry if you want to!