True Blood Sucker Punch: Episode 12

Welcome to Sucker Punch, the only blog post that ranks the gaudiest moments on this week's episode of True Blood.

(Warning: Spoilers Ahead)


Where has the time gone? It seems like yesterday that Miss Jeanette was lying dead in the back seat of Andy Bellefleur's car, and now Eggs is lying dead next to Andy Bellefleur's car.

But hey... seasons can't go on forever, and "Beyond Here Lies' Nothin'" sends True Blood out in style.

First, I tip my hat to Alexander Woo for writing such satisfying scenes for Queen Sophie-Anne. After her first appearance, I figured I'd be sending her No Thank You cards, but Woo really turned it around.

In this episode, Sophie-Anne is actually invested in what's happening. She's commanding Eric to sell her blood to humans, and she's making a big show of her power over him. Combine that with her casual references to her disdain for every living thing, and she suddenly seems like someone whose immortality has made her a cruel and disinterested god. She's bored by her existence -- hence all the board games -- so she amuses herself by making the world her plaything.

More to the point, Sophie-Anne is exactly what Godric chastised Lorena for being -- a creature who has gotten more petulant with age. But since Sophie-Anne is so powerful, her childishness makes her dangerous, like a howler monkey with a handgun.

I also appreciate that this week's episode suggests last week's Sophie-Anne was a put-on ... that all the stuff she told Bill about Maryann was intentionally confusing. If that scene was convoluted on purpose, then it's a lot more interesting.

Still, this episode has some head-scratchers. Like, when did Sam see a giant white bull? If he didn't, then how did he turn into one? I'm not saying I don't dig the scene where he kills Maryann by sticking his horn/arm into her black, dusty heart, but I wish it had been more logical.

Also, I'm not sure I accept Maryann's sudden vulnerability. I mean, maybe a little, since she thought she was giving herself over to her god and all ... but still. I guess any resolution to this interminable storyline was going to feel underwhelming.

But while I do have reservations about Maryann's last moment, I've got nothing but kisses for the scenes leading up to it. When Maryann asks Sookie what she is, and Sookie says, "I'm a waitress, what the f*** are you?," I could die.

Once again, Michelle Forbes' performance is superb. Take the moment when Sookie tries to do the ole' white-hand-lightning trick, but it doesn't work, so she pushes Maryann in frustration. Maryann responds by saying, "That's hitting me. You're not committing to this at all," and Forbes chews that line so hard that juice runs down her chin. The fact that she can muster that kind of schoolmarmish disapproval, even on the night when Bacchus is coming, is hilarious, and it's one of the reasons I like this show. There's always time for a sassy little joke, no matter whose heart is getting cut out.

Speaking of the white-magic scene, I've got to give it up to Anna Paquin, who does great work playing righteous indignation (at Maryann), self-doubting terror (after Bill proposes), and emotional release (when she decides to accept Bill's offer.) It's nice to see Sookie written and performed so vividly.

It's also nice to see Bill have something to do. The plan he concocts with Sam is dramatic and compelling. It also delivers a Sucker Punch nominee. Watching Sam get gutted by that giant knife is awful.

But it's not unexpected, so it can't win the prize.

Ditto for the egg-licking scene. By now, we're so used to Maryann treating crazy rituals like common sense that her antics are as comfortable as old slippers. It's still campy-fabulous, however, when she glares at Sookie and says, "You're the maid of honor. You have to lick the egg." If you're getting married in the next few months, I double-dog dare you to say that to your maid of honor. While holding, like, an Egg McMuffin.

Ultimately, the most scandalous and unexpected moment of this episode comes near the end, when Jason shoots Eggs in the head and Andy takes the blame. Jason tries be a hero, but his actions could haunt him forever, and Andy does a noble thing, but the consequences could be severe. Now these former enemies are united by blood. What will happen next?

And what will become of Jessica now that she's a truckstop hooker-murderer? And who kidnapped Bill? And who are Sam's real parents? All good questions that will keep me anticipating season three.

For now, though, let's say goodbye to season two. The writing got confusing sometimes, and there were a whole lot of stories that didn't go anywhere (how's it going, Steve and Sarah Newlin?), but on the whole, this was a stylish, sexy, and entertaining summer of fun. I'm glad I had the chance to discuss it with you!