There's a song on country radio right now by Tim McGraw titled "Humble and Kind" which I feel teaches important lessons for anyone willing to learn them.
For me, it speaks to the idea of remembering what matters most in life.
It's a song that everyone should hear at least once, and I feel a person going through a divorce should memorize its lessons.
Listen to it here
Read the lyrics here
Hold the door, say please, say thank you... Don't steal, don't cheat, and don't lie...
I've been asked why I have a chivalry and etiquette section for posts on my site DerickTurner.com. The reason is that these topics have always been important to me. In fact, those topics are a very large part of why I started the platform.
My mother made sure to teach her four sons the importance of good manners. Because she never had the chance to raise daughters, she was particularly careful to make sure we learned about chivalry and how to treat women.
With this as my background, you can understand why it's my belief that the majority of issues within any society comes down to the home. No other social success will ever compensate for failure in the homes.
This isn't about religion or lifestyle, it's about ethics. Where there are loose morals and weak ethics, there will follow weakness in character.
I believe this is the problem with the world today. It is clearly part of the problem leading to the high rates of divorce.
Use the manners you were taught when you were young. Don't cheat, don't steal, don't lie.
There was a time when a man's word alone was good enough. Live to be that way now, where others know they can trust you, and know you are a person of integrity.
When those dreams you're dreaming come to you, when the work you put in is realized...
You have every right to work hard and be rewarded for it. I believe each of us has unique abilities and talents with which to accomplish all we can in our lives.
When getting past a divorce, these accomplishments are part of getting back to being you.
When we succeed from our honest efforts, we should be grateful and enjoy it. We should not be ashamed of our successes.
But we should also not become foolishly prideful. This would include not rubbing it in to an ex who may not have believed in you. Your success alone will speak for itself.
As the song teaches, let yourself feel the pride of your accomplishments, but remain humble and kind about it.
You should also share your successes, especially with those who supported you along the way. That may actually include your ex. Challenge yourself to express to them gratitude if they played a part in your accomplishments.
Don't hold a grudge or a chip and here's why, bitterness keeps you From flying...
One line from the song in particular that has stuck out to me recently is this one. If you've gone through a divorce, you now about bitterness.
It has been a constant battle for me to bury my bitterness and hurt. I feel as though I was cheated out of a life that I had worked hard for.
I've learned something since the divorce though, and that is the fact that I will never feel good about myself when I am holding on to bitterness.
Holding on to any grudge is only holding me down. Any time I am closed minded and focused on my selfish feelings of being "right", I regret it.
It was actually my ex who helped teach me this. We take our turns being the strong one, but she has been wonderful to interact with at times. I'm grateful to her for that.
I always wish to be much more than the person I've been. I can't do that if I insist on holding on to the past.
Much the way a bird would be held back if it clung to the branch it's trying to soar away from, holding on to hurt or pain you're trying to leave behind will only keep you from getting off the ground.
Let yourself feel the pride, but always stay humble and kind
As you work on refining yourself in the ways this song suggests, you will find yourself growing, succeeding, and accomplishing great things. After a divorce, these things become even more important.
Let yourself feel the pride of that accomplishment, but don't forget the person you were.
Don't forget those who helped you get there. Don't forget the talents and skills you were blessed with which helped you reach your goals.
I believe you can find greater happiness by adhering to the principles of this song. Learn and grow. Become the better version of yourself that you want to be, and let yourself feel good about it.
Let yourself feel the pride, but always stay humble and kind.
Question: What words of wisdom you learned when you were younger have guided your life? Leave a comment below.
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