Even if you already believe you are the source of every inspired and intuitive answer to every question in life, it’s not going to matter if you’ve lost yourself. With access to an overwhelming, sometimes confusing amount of resources on finding yourself and practicing self-love, how do we remain calm and grounded in the only thing that really matters; the root of our soul - the relationship we have with ourselves?
So where are you anyway? Have you found yourself yet? How long’s it taken? What’s the journey been like? Worth it? Painful? What would you tell others about this journey? Do you feel like you’ve arrived yet?
“You’ve arrived, grasshopper.” A little note and a wink from an admirer came after a blog I wrote about the relationship with self. I have? I wondered. And because I know it’s not the destination but the journey that matters I sat back and took a breath and thought, “I haven’t arrived, I’ve just begun. But that is okay.”
Begun what? To find myself. And that’s what I want to talk about; figuring out where you are so you can run with open arms into her arms and never let go. Problem is she was in a lot of different places at first and it was confusing, and hard, and painful at times to think I’d found her only to get stuck to the bottom of my muddy pit again and wonder what the Hell I was doing.
This little blog’s about how and where to find her, based on how and where I found myself hanging out, and how and where I discovered the best parts of me. These were the parts I was fighting for all along. I’ve accepted the “shadow” parts too; part of the journey they say. But this exploration and discovery’s more to do with joy than pain. More to do with bliss than sorrow.
If you’ve lost yourself and you’re coming around to understanding it; like you actually have the awareness to say to yourself, “OMG, I have no idea who I am anymore, or what I want, or what I love,” excellent! You’ve fought half the battle already. You’re awake, you’re aware, and you’re ready to dive in.
Awareness is everything.
No matter if you’re moving through pain or rapture, believe me, you’ll want to feel it so you know the difference. It’s the contrast that gives us the ability to focus on what feels good. It’s the pain that helps us know when we’re fiercely alive. Be thankful for every “bad” thing in your life because it’s teaching you what you DO want and what you DO love, and what you’re fighting for.
Be thankful for it all.
That’s the first place I found myself; in gratitude. Gratitude’s a magical feeling that’s the medicine for almost all ill. When I connect with it, she (my badass warrior healer woman) is there, standing tall and smiling with her sword on her hip. Gratitude’s her shield. And it’s fucking shiny as Hell.
Focus on what feels good and what is good.
I also found myself inside of positivity. Call me Pollyanna and nowadays I’ll take it as a compliment. It takes a warrior to continue stubborn gladness (Thanks LG) in the midst of negativity and cruelty. When I began to look at everything with an attitude of possibility I got flak but I certainly felt a lot better. The positive, enthusiastic lover of life was standing there, proud to be one of “those” people. That’s who I am. I own it now. She’s badass.
Forgive.
I found myself inside of forgiveness. This was harder than most of my lessons. I had to forgive people for big, hairy things I was taught were deal-breakers. I first did it for them because that’s what I thought I was supposed to do. When I did it for me, with the awareness it was me gripping so tight my hands bled, and it was time to let go; well…freedom passed through me like a cool breeze on a summer day. Easy relief. She was standing there waiting for me - tapping her foot like, “I told you so.”
It doesn’t matter what anyone else says or does.
The week I found most of the rest of me, she was sitting inside of a kind of awareness I can only describe as profound and transformational. Was all the (decades of) work I’d done culminating into this epiphany? I didn’t know and didn’t care. When the lightbulb of awareness shone that week the light was so bright my entire life before that point lit up and disintegrated into a ball of flames. I was free of the past, of the guilt, of the needy, desperate behavior, and of the beliefs that had chained me to the floor of some slimy dungeon for what seemed like ever.
Figure out what turns you on and do it, unapologetically.
I found myself in freedom. Of knowing what turned me on, what I loved, what I was born for and not caring what anyone else thought of those things. I found my raw, wild, fearless, passionate self in the freedom of knowing every thought, belief and action, no matter what anyone else said, or did to me, was in my control. When the Aha of that freedom rained down upon me I stood there until I was soaked through…and then I started to dance.
What’s the awareness you need for the life you want? I’m here to tell you it’s there; she’s there. You haven’t lost her. She’s been hiding, smothered, covered up, ignored and taught that’s normal. Time to believe something different.
“You have one job. To selfishly thrive.” Esther Hicks
Time to understand to selfishly thrive is the way you’ll heal the world. You’re going to have to start within. Is she ready to be found?
Like this stuff? Find more on www.BraveHealer.com Holistic healing for exceptional living. The Brave Healer Network is a tribe of people who’re healing the world by doing the work of selfish thriving. Ready to be part of the revolution?