Everything I Know About British People, 1974-Present

Ever since I was old enough to have self-deprecating thoughts, I've been aware of one fundamental truth: British people are better than me. They've got cooler accents, more interesting hair, come naturally dressed in layers, and they're both funnier and more miserable than anyone has a right to be.

Don't believe me? Re-read the first paragraph and imagine Stephen Fry saying it. See? Curse this bland vessel I was born into.

But as much as I covet Englishness, I can't really say that I understand much of anything about British people. In fact, the entire body of knowledge I've acquired of my ending-every-sentence-in-a-question betters can be traced to pivotal movies, television shows and musicians... can't it?

I have endeavored to document this complete and thorough history as I experienced it in the chart below, highlighting the lessons learned along the way. Why did I do this? Because I felt like it, and we Americans are doomed to live a life of wasted time doing what we feel like when our bosses aren't looking.

(Note: these dates reflect the moment I became aware of certain things, not necessarily the moment they originally came into being. As an example, I know when Monty Python aired on the BBC, I just hadn't been born in the wrong place yet... had I?)

Pretty thorough, innit?