Exposed: The Commercial Guy

He is the baby-faced everyman caught in a Kafkaesque nightmare of credit score woes. A troubadour of the American masses, his songs reflect the far-reaching effects of the housing crisis, predatory lending, skyrocketing gas prices and the economic downturn -- or maybe he's just one in former John McCain advisor Phil Gramm's nation of "whiners" suffering a "mental depression."

He's the guy, and you are so totally in love with him you want to have like, 10 million of his babies. Or you hate his guts and if you never see him or his stupid drummer and bass player again it'll be too soon.