EXTRA SPECIAL 75TH POST!

EXTRA SPECIAL 75TH POST!
This post was published on the now-closed HuffPost Contributor platform. Contributors control their own work and posted freely to our site. If you need to flag this entry as abusive, send us an email.


I was just thinking, if Randall Robinson wasn't at the Huffpo, WHAT would he be doing? If Gene Stone wasn't blogging, WHO would he be doing? If Eve Ensler wasn't here, how many other talking vaginas will we be faced with, not counting Gary Hart?

I now realize that Huffpo is like a bug zapper. It attracts all the pests in your big backyard to one little blog where they can be safely ignored while they die their little bug deaths. It's what I call the Huffpo Attractive Nuisance Strategy.

HANS is a lot like the Flypaper strategy, except it makes more noise. "HANS is a startling discovery that we're only now understanding the implications of," says Greg Gutfeld, speaking on the condition that he wear a gardening hat. "The goal was to create the Huffington Post, with its fervent anti-US presence - reflected by Hooman Majd, Deepak Chopra and Cenk Uygar - creating an irresistible magnet for other like-minded loons." Has-beens and wannabes could not afford to ignore the Huffpo presence on the internet and are driven by their own ego and need for a public platform to flood the blog with their gleeful conspiracies. A source who might also be Greg explains its benefits: "It's better to capture these cranks on the net than at any establishment where they might actually confront the public."

(It's true. Think of having to endure Tom Hayden as a pontificating Starbucks clerk while he completely screws up your triple shot macchiato by accidentally making it with decaf! )

Detractors of the HANS strategy, however, claim that the the Huffpo has only strengthened the left, not weakened it. It has turned itself into a caustic camp where antipathy toward the US is rewarded by a fawning, semi-nomadic tribe - one that's settled onto their "reservation," bent on slicing one another's virtual throats if anybody gets out of line. Alone these posters were unremarkable and isolated, but now they are being trained in a sociopathic culture that teaches them to treat anyone who loves America, like poo. And not the good kind.

The only solution to stop this: take the Huffers away from the post and place them in the warm, comforting red-state homes of others -- basically wiping out the culture.

Or, just let it continue, and let the rest of us gather information on their strange ideas and angry practices.

Which is why, some think we have Karl Rove to thank for the Huffpo. He is the only one devious enough to realize that keeping these gasbags together in one highly visible place, it would be easier to track them, analyze their thinking, as well as their peculiar and often disturbing hygiene habits.

But why hire Arianna to run it? Well, many political insiders on both the left and right think Arianna never even left the right!! Think about it. Without Arianna do we have Gov. Schwarzenegger? Or a two term Bushie? Karl Rove calls it 'addition by subtraction' -- and I myself am a proponent of that kind of fuzzy math!

But after reading many of the other posts here, I truly believe Karl Rove is not really the front man. It's actually part of an Israeli plot to exterminate the Palestinians. I mean, since they staged 9/11 can we afford to think any differently? About anything?

Popular in the Community

Close

What's Hot