Dear Mouthy Housewives,
My husband and I recently started house hunting for our first home. We have one child and have been married for four years.
We have always said we wanted two children. We checked out our first house today and in front of the realtor my wonderful husband dropped a bombshell: A two-bedroom house would be fine, since we were not having any more children.
I asked him when that was decided and he said that we had discussed it already. I guess I was absent for this talk, because I would have never gone for that. I made it clear before marriage that I wanted a big family and he was OK with that up until now.
I'm not sure how to handle this. In the privacy of our own home and not in front of the realtor I asked him about it and he just apologized for blindsiding me in front of a stranger.
Signed,
I Want To Go Forth And Multiply
___________________________
Dear Multiply,
I don't understand how your husband can be so heartless as to refer to the realtor as a "stranger." After all, this is the woman who you have entrusted to find you your home, where your child(ren) will grow up, where you and your husband will grow old together, where beautiful memories will be made and silent treatments will take place.
Really, the realtor is practically a family member. Set a place for her at Thanksgiving.
Now, with that problem out of the way, let's focus on procreation!
I understand that you and your husband agreed to have two children (The Mouthy Housewives legal team just asked me to clarify that the two of you agreed to have those two children with each other, yes? I mean, we're not waiting for him to surprise us with an out-of-wedlock baby, I gather.) As a matter of fact, you mention that you want a "big family," so were the two kids you agreed to just the gateway to Octomomdom?! Either way, things happen. Things being life and the economy and finances and OMG, we can barely swing the two bedroom home, how can we possible manage the mortgage on a three bedroom one?
I'm sorry, I'm projecting. Perhaps money is not an issue for you or your husband, but the fact that he brought up the topic while house hunting makes me think that it is a concern for him. You need to sit down and have a talk. What has made him change his mind about wanting only one child and therefore depriving your child of a sibling? Whether the concerns are financial or otherwise, there are ways to approach the situation without feeling like he vetoed your life plan. For example, the children can share a room. Or perhaps an extra bedroom can be carved out of a larger area of the floor plan. The two of you need to figure out if your family is complete and you shouldn't hesitate to seek outside help in discussing it.
Just make sure to let the realtor know what you decide. It's the least you can do.
Good luck,
Marinka, TMH