I will never be the “Cool Girl.” I’m cool and I’m a girl, but I’m not a capital “C,” capital “G,” Cool Girl…and I never want to be.
The “Cool Girl” is the woman of every man’s dreams. She’s down for whatever, ready whenever, and aims to please however. The “Cool Girl” is sexy but sporty, smart but not nerdy, and crazy in bed but never in her head.
Being called a Cool Girl, is the ultimate compliment a woman can receive from a man. In “Gone Girl,” Gillian Flynn describes what it means to be this coveted creature to a T:
“Being the Cool Girl means I am a hot, brilliant, funny woman who adores football, poker, dirty jokes, and burping, who plays video games, drinks cheap beer, loves threesomes and anal sex, and jams hot dogs and hamburgers into her mouth like she’s hosting the world’s biggest culinary gang bang while somehow maintaining a size two, because Cool Girls are above all hot. Hot and understanding. Cool Girls never get angry; they only smile in a chagrined, loving manner and let their men do whatever they want. Go ahead, sh*t on me, I don’t mind, I’m the Cool Girl.”
From Andy in “How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days” to Carl’s Jr commercials of hot, bikini-clad women stuffing burgers down their throats while washing cars, women are told that in order to be desired, they must curb their desires. That their own needs are too needy and that they must do everything in their power to suppress any stereotypical “girliness” to be a guy’s girl. Because in order to be the perfect “Cool Girl,” you must be the perfect guy.
When a woman is described as being “cool,” it’s because she embodies stereotypical male traits. She’s into sports, casual sex, and you’ll never know when she’s PMS-ing, because she’s always chill.
Don’t get me wrong, I love basketball and I LOVE hotdogs (like, I really love hotdogs). But I also cry during sad commercials, I get bitchy and bloated when I’m on my period, it takes me 45 minutes to get the perfect “makeup-less” makeup look, and I definitely will not take your sh*t.
I have lots of fun and positive traits, but I also have some not-so-fun and moody traits as well. These traits prevent me from ever being the “Cool Girl,” but they’re also the traits that make me human. The “Cool Girl” is not allowed to be human. She’s forced into the confines of what men want of her and from her, never slipping up with an emotion of her own or, god forbid, a need. She wears shirts like this (below), because she knows that while she must act like a bro, she still must present like a girl ― not just any girl, but a Kate Upton, Kim Kardashian girl.
Now don’t get me wrong, if you look like Kate Upton or Kim Kardashian, good for you! I’m jealous. If you love stereotypical “bro” activities, again, good for you! But that doesn’t mean that you need to shy away from emotions, or your own wants and needs, or your super comfy, but old and tattered sweats to be the “Cool Girl.” Because in reality, the fact that you have ups and downs and dress the way that makes you feel like your most confident self makes you cool. The fact that you are a multi-faceted, complex being makes you cool. And the fact that you are a girl makes you cool.
I am cool, but I will never be “Cool.” And that’s the way I like it.
**The use of the term “girl” is referring to gender and how individuals identify and/or present**