No More Secrets: Fearless Living Boot Camp, Day 17 (VIDEO)

The only way you can feel loved is through sharing who you really are. Not the pretend you, not the secret-laden you, but the vulnerable, naked you who is truly uniquely different from anyone else.
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This is one of the most important days in all of Fearless Living Boot Camp. You've been Stretching. You've been Risking. You've been Dying. It's time to keep going. It's time to keep pushing yourself out of your comfort zone.

Watch this very important two-minute Fearless Living Boot Camp video that shares a shame-shedding challenge that will help you accept yourself and find more peace within.

Yes, I know. Get your chin off the floor and let's think about the importance of this challenge.

First off, you can do this.
Second off, you must do it.

Secrets are the glue that keep shame bound to you. Once the secrets are released, the shame no longer has sticking power. Read this blog to the end. I know it's scary. Keep reading.

Let me tell you some secrets I have shared over the years that at one time seemed impossible to utter. Telling these secrets the first time made me want to puke. Just the thought of saying them out loud made me want to run and hide. I felt so vulnerable and alone. I believed that no one would understand me. I was convinced that I would be rejected with looks of disgust and disdain. It was going to be horrible. I just knew it.

But what I also knew -- and what pushed me to speak the truth -- was the fact that NOT sharing them with someone I trusted meant that those secrets OWNED ME. It meant that I had to hide a part of myself all the time. (How exhausting is that?)

Here are some secrets that I kept for years, decades, until I saw the toll that it was taking on me to make sure that no one ever knew these things about me. Ready? Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.

My biggest secret, the one I kept for almost twenty years... (Sure, if you lived in the town where it happened, you knew. But once I moved away, no one knew in my new town. And I didn't tell them. Until it was practically killing me.)

Big gigantic secret: My father murdered my mother and then committed suicide in front of me when I was 14. And that secret was keeping the belief alive that I was rejected by my own father; that I was not worth living for and not worth killing. It was horrific to live with that belief every day.

So that secret led me to have other secrets.

Because of the shame of that secret, I tried to kill myself three times... and when I wasn't attempting suicide, I was trying to drink my way there. Oh, and let's not forget that I had nightmares every night for 14 years. (Only weirdos or really crazy people have nightmares every night for 14 years, I reasoned, so I couldn't tell anyone that, either.)

Oh, I could go on...

I don't know how you want to feel, but I want to feel alive, comfortable being myself, accepted, peaceful and loved. That's how I want to feel.

But what I discovered is, the only way to get to those feelings is to be willing to feel the rejection and disdain from others (and myself) that may come up when I reveal the parts of me I'm horrified others may find disgusting about me.

The only way you can feel loved is through sharing who you really are. Not the pretend you, not the secret-laden you, but the vulnerable, naked you who is truly uniquely different from anyone else. And that person shows up when she (or he) isn't afraid of her (or his) secrets anymore.

Secrets hide shame. Secrets perpetuate shame. Secrets stop you from accepting yourself. Secrets are a barrier to peace of mind and self-love. Period. That's just the way it is.

So you see, that's why you MUST be willing to share a secret today. Tell someone.

Share it with someone you trust. And if you don't have anyone you trust, share it right here with us. You don't have to share all the details this time around. Just say it. Blurt it out. Don't think about it or worry about it. Just say it.

To make it easier to say to someone, you can preface it by saying...

"This is really scary for me to share. I've never shared this with anyone. And I've recently realized that when I keep secrets, they own me. They stop me from accepting myself. So I want to tell you something I've never told anyone... and I'm scared to share it because I am afraid of your reaction. So if you could, please. If you could, after I share it, just nod or tell me it's okay or hug me... or do something that lets me know that you heard me and are here. That would be very healing. Okay, I'm going to share it now..."

And when you are done spilling your guts (because that's how it will feel), simply say, "Thank you." (You might be crying, they might be crying, you might be silent, they might be silent, you might be frozen, they might be frozen, and on it goes. All of that is okay.)

Whew. I know. I know. Oh, I know.

I am RIGHT HERE sending you love a hundred millions times today in every single second of the day.

Let me say this. If you are still reading this: YOU ARE COURAGEOUS and BRAVE and READY to share more of who you are. YOU ARE BREATHTAKING.

Thank you for trusting me with this one. Now, go on loved one. Go on. Share something. Please. Set your heart free.

You know what to do. Go to and give yourself some points. Is sharing a secret a Stretch, Risk or Die for you? Grab those points, because I want you to WIN.

You could win my bestselling book, Fearless Living, or you could win THREE private one-on-one sessions with me, or my kick-butt Fearless Living Training Program. And of course, you'll receive the best gift of all: BECOMING FEARLESS!

If you haven't joined the Boot Camp to log your fearless activity, use the Social Workout-powered widget just below. If you're a Facebook member, simply click the "Connect" button. To sign up with your email, cheer on your fellow enlistees, and see all the inspiring commentary, go to the Boot Camp homepage!

Say no to secrets! Spread the word. Share this blog with your Facebook friends, Twitter followers and loved ones! Let's become Fearless together!

Sending you fearless love,

P.S. Don't forget: If you missed previous Boot Camp posts, you can catch them by clicking here, then just clicking the appropriate links. C'mon -- there's plenty of time to sign up and join this life-changing challenge!

Need help? In the U.S., call 1-800-273-8255 for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline.

For more by Rhonda Britten, click here.

For more on becoming fearless, click here.

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