THE BLOG

Female Species VS Male Species- Are We Really that Different?

"The female mind is certainly a devious one, my lord."
Vetinari looked at his secretary in surprise. "Well, of course it is. It has to deal with the male one."
― Terry Pratchett, Unseen Academicals

I grew up around girls. Having three sisters and one brother (who is ten years younger than me) our home was always filled with female cousins and friends. I never really realized how men work and how to deal with the opposite sex. Honestly growing up in Pakistan as a Muslim girl, there was never the male/female segregation, yet still I was clueless about the differences or if there were any between men and women.

And as life would have it, I got married at 20 and was in for a big surprise. I entered the marriage thinking that my partner was just as emotionally open as most of the girlfriends I had. However that was not the case. I tried to communicate the way I was used to communicating and it didn't work.

I played the blame game and begin to blame "men" and the way they thought. I also believed that I was much better because I was able to express my feelings and ask for what I wanted; it was ok for me to cry and laugh if I felt like it. I spent a few years judging the "manly man" I had married. But then God played a joke on me and gave me sons, and I had to figure them out this time!!

When my sons were born, I vowed to raise them to be more open minded and emotionally aware of their feelings. And yes now as they are older I do see them as sensitive young men who are caring and aware of the world around them, yet they are just different.

Sometimes I feel like we were created opposite intentionally, to fill in the blank spots in each other's soul. But then at other times I believe that we aren't that different at all, its society that hands us our gender based roles and pitches us against each other. Saying things like "women are just emotional" or "be a man , define us as humans and encloses us in gender boxes. After being married for 20 years (and now single for 5), raising 2 boys and working with numerous males, I have realized three different aspects of the male species

1- They have it hard too-emotionally. They are taught at a very young age "to be a man". I remember I used to get so upset when my ex would tell my son "stop crying like a little girl". The world around us forces boys to "put a manly face on".

2- They feel love and pain just like us, this should be something that we know, yet we assume they don't have a heart. At times when as women we cry and say what we want to, the male species go quiet. They harbor feelings inside and then it comes out the wrong way. And we as women assume that the opposite sex is heartless

3- They are as if not more scared as we are to open up their heart. As women its easier for us to bear our souls, to love freely and openly. However I think guys find it harder to bear their soul.

And so yes I finally believe that we are more similar then we want to believe we are. All species want to be loved and appreciated. We are all insecure and disheartened when someone judges us and we were created to spread and create opportunities for peace and love!!!