Like most young black girls growing up in the '90s I was introduced to the relaxer in my pre-teen years. I can remember it being so easy to manage my hair myself after that. A nice wash, blow dry, and quick hit of the flat iron and I could bounce out of the house with my tresses flapping in the breeze. It was easy and I would constantly get complements at school. Every 4-6 weeks I’d go to the salon for touch ups and that was my routine.
The city I grew up in was predominately white. Girls of color around my age either had relaxers or braids. There were definitely times where I rocked braids but I grew tired of white women in the grocery store asking questions and reaching out to touch my hair. In my mind the relaxed hair trend was better suited for that kind of environment.
It wasn’t until I went off to college at The Mecca in DC that I came face to face with girls of color who had multitudes of different styles and hair textures. Everything from twists, Afros, dread locks and so many other styles I didn’t know the names of. It was absolutely beautiful! There were so many women of color embracing their natural beauty and style. I had never seen that before. But, I wasn’t comfortable enough with myself to try something new. I also didn’t know how to transition into these types of looks. My straight relaxed hair was comfortable to me. It was what I knew.
It wasn’t until I got to LA that I was forced to change. After 15-some-odd-years of relaxing my hair it started to break off. I was also very much in denial about the fact that for the last 3 years my hair was getting thinner! Plus, LA relaxers were upwards of $100. Sorry, but I’ve got student loan debt and LA rent ain’t cheap! PASS.
Now what?! It took me awhile to find an affordable hairdresser that I liked. She introduced me to the press. We pressed my hair ever other week for about 7 years. It wasn’t a problem until I started working out 6 days a week. At that point I would get maybe 2 days out of a salon visit and I would be wasting money. To top it off, I started seeing all these natural hair sistahs with kinky curly textures on the Internet and I was reminded of my days at The Mecca. I got hair jealous. That’s what I want my hair to do. Albeit I now know that some of those women are wearing wigs and weaves, natural styles are trending. So, in the summer of 2015, my natural hair journey began. Partly brought on by the need to work out, the desire to save a penny or two, and most importantly the desire to learn and embrace my natural.
The journey has not been easy and is constantly a struggle. When my hairdresser does my flexi rods and braid outs it is absolutely gorgeous. Those same styles when applied by me don’t look as great. Everyday is a challenge and there are a multitude of products that I have to go through to figure out what works. The most frustrating thing is finding out that my hair has multiple textures. No section of my hair appears to be the same so some styles hold in one or two sections while they don’t work in another. As I go through this journey, the only encouragement I seem to get is from other women of color who have been there and can share the experience. In my corporate work world, my hair has become “fascinating” for all it can do. And yes, there are those who have reached out to touch! The women in the locker room at the gym see me twisting my kinks and suggest I try a Brazilian Blowout. I kindly reply that I’m not interested.
In addition to learning about my hair, I’m learning the most important thing of all, self-love. I am happy with exactly who I am and I can proudly say the decisions that I make are because I want them. I’m not conforming to anyone else’s standard of beauty or what’s acceptable. This is me! I’m doing what I want regardless and that ladies and gentleman is an absolutely beautiful feeling! But please note, I did ask God for wash and go hair in my next lifetime!