Finally It's The Fools Vs. The Knaves

In 2002 I called for two new parties, The Fools and The Knaves, to replace the Democrats and Republicans.

 

I wrote:

 

Democrats not only suffer fools gladly, they usually nominate a one for President― witness Humphrey, McGovern, Carter, Dukakis, etc.

 

The Republican Party, the party of Nixon, prefers knaves.

 

Republican policies are essentially knavish (let’s enrich our class, and either neglect or bomb everyone else), while the Democrats are usually foolish (let’s raise taxes and spend money on government programs that don’t work).

 

 

It took longer than I expected but it finally happened. The Republicans are about to nominate not only a knave but the  exemplary, quintessential, consummate and archetypal Knave― a despicable, ignorant, mendacious, bigoted, loathsome, narcissistic loudmouth.

 

To win, the Democratic nominee need say nothing other than “I’m not Donald Trump.” Nonetheless, Hillary has decided to unify the Fools by proposing bold government programs that can’t possibly work. Exceeding prior heights of imbecility in this category, she recently called for “supporting incubators, accelerators, mentoring and training for 50,000 entrepreneurs in underserved areas.”

 

Who is going to design this program? Presumably people like Karen Kornbluh, the Clinton adviser who commented, “This is a pragmatic plan that could help leverage what happens in Silicon Valley so that there’s innovation and job growth throughout the country.”

 

After attending elite schools, Kornbluh ascended brilliantly in diverse government positions and think tanks, rising to Ambassador to the Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development. (When did they become a country?) In other words, her carefully plotted career was propelled by observing the four rules of success in parasitic professions: work hard, be smart, suck up, and above all else, never take a career risk. Therefore, she is superbly qualified to design how to encourage entrepreneurs to take risks.

 

And who will mentor and train these budding entrepreneurs? Not a bureaucracy but an organization that is nimble, responsive, action-oriented, results-driven, and client- focused. Fortunately, there are thirty such agencies within the Department of Commerce alone, and nearly as many within the Departments of Homeland Security and Agriculture. The federal government has so many capable agencies that three separate Departments will administer this program,

 

These government-trained entrepreneurs will work in underserved areas. Without Clinton’s assistance, entrepreneurs are flourishing in overserved areas such as Silicon Valley, Seattle, Austin, Minneapolis, and Raleigh-Durham. In addition to having great research universities, an educated workforce and venture capital expertise, these are all places where talented people want to live.

 

I am not sure what are underserved areas are. However, since the chairs of the senate and house commerce committees come from South Dakota and Michigan’s 6th district, I expect Sturgis MI, Kalamazoo MI, Paw Paw MI, and the four largest South Dakota Cities: Sioux Falls, Rapid City, Aberdeen and Brookins (pop. 22056) will make the cut along with the likes of Modesto CA, Macon GA, Rockford Il, Mobile AL, Gary IN, Flint MI and Paterson NJ.

 

Later, researchers will explain that that miserable failure of the first class of government trained entrepreneurs was due, first, to the absence of venture capital infrastructure in places like Kalamazoo, Brookins (pop. 22056) and Paterson NJ, and, second, because no one in their right mind would live there.

 

The first problem will be addressed by providing government training for 500,000 budding venture capitalist in underserved areas.

 

The second problem will raise larger issues of social equity. Credentialed Egalitarians will find geographic inequality to be more pernicious and than income inequality. Editorials in The New York Times will demand the end of “intellectual red-lining” and “geographical profiling” that turn underserved areas into “talentless ghettos.”

 

The entrepreneurial training program will end after the Knaves win the 2020 presidential election, under the inspirational banner, “Screw the Underserved.”

 

Subsequently Karen Kornbluh, will resign as the recently created cabinet position of Secretary of Entrepreneurism, Geographic Equity and Obesity Amelioration to become President of the Zuckerberg Foundation.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

.

This post was published on the now-closed HuffPost Contributor platform. Contributors control their own work and posted freely to our site. If you need to flag this entry as abusive, send us an email.
CONVERSATIONS