What do you want to do in life? It’s a daunting question that serves to remind us how unsure we can be any given day about our destination or our purpose. It’s as if someone were demanding, “Tell me your future!”
The problem isn’t the question: The problem is our understanding of it. The question is merely asking you your end-goal. An end can take many forms. You may not know what career you want to have, where you want to live, or what you want your salary to be, but there are many things you do know. You know the kind of person you want to be and the principles you want to uphold. In other words, you know your character and ethics.
With those two axes you can plot your achievements and contributions.
You Are Fixed and in Flux
Our character and principles at any given moment should be fixed. We should have a clear sense of what they are—like a personal mission statement. A mission statement is a set of core standards for behavior that steel us against the winds of change that blow daily.
They grant us security, guidance, wisdom, and power.
See how I made it sound easy until I unloaded those broad and seemingly intractable concepts? Let’s unpack them briefly.
- Security. Your sense of worth, identity, emotional anchor, self-esteem, basic personal strength or lack thereof.
- Guidance. Your source of direction in life, an internal frame of reference that includes standards, principles or implicit criteria that govern moment-by-moment decision-making and actions.
- Wisdom. Your perspective on life, sense of balance, judgment, discernment and comprehension.
- Power. The faculty or capacity to act and the strength and potency to accomplish.
These attributes flow from your core, your center of identity. You might not realize it, but even now you have a center from whence flow these attributes in varying degrees; and not always to your benefit. The great thing about our identity is that it can feel fixed but is actually in constant flux.
At any given time, I believe there are aspect of your character and principles that you may alter. You are fixed and in flux. It’s a matter of consciously deciding who you want to be. By identifying your center, you can choose to shift it or amplify it.
Identify Your True Center
There are 10 common centers in people’s lives. Only you can truly identify your own; no one else can do it for you. Granted, we often think we know the true intentions or purposes of others, but that’s a fallacy. You and only you can know yourself best (it’s purely a matter of access to information, i.e., no one else is in your head).
So, what do you think your center is?
- Spouse. Your life perspective surrounds things that may positively or negatively influence your spouse or relationship.
- Family. Your decision-making criteria are “What is good for the family” and it’s derivatives.
- Money. Moneymaking is your end-goal; by any means necessary is your motivation.
- Work. You see your life as work.
- Possession. You make decisions based on what will protect, increase or better display your possessions.
- Pleasure. You see the world in terms of maximizing enjoyment.
- Friend. You see the world through a social lens.
- Enemy. You are counter-dependently guided by your enemy’s actions and base decisions on what will thwart your enemy.
- Church. You see the world in terms of “believers” and “non-believers” and “in” or “out.”
- Self. You view the world by how decisions, events or circumstances will affect you.
Your center may not be one single center. We often have a combination of centers, motivating us in different directions. The problem is that you can’t appease the demands of all centers at once. At some point you will need to say, “What is my priority?”
When you pinpoint a true center, you then grant yourself another benefit. You can establish your true end, and from that point, crafting a mission statement is much simpler. That mission statement will give you security, guidance, wisdom, and power, bolstered by the knowledge that it serves your true center.
Still unclear about where to begin with your mission statement?
A Mission Statement Appetizer
I am very fond of questions. In fact, I don’t think we ask enough questions. We assume to know too much. Plus, when we were younger, impatient adults probably squelched our curiosity and inquisitiveness.
Take a good look at yourself and ask the following questions:
1. What are my boundaries?
2. How will I ground myself?
3. What impassions me?
The answers to these questions will reveal much about yourself.
The question of boundaries tells you how far you are willing to go and how far you are willing to let others go. That’s vital.
The question of grounding arms you with a battle plan for when life gets tumultuous (which it invariably does). That’s crucial too.
And, the question of passions tells you what makes you happy. There is nothing more potent than self-fulfillment. When you target your main sources of passion, you are imbued with energy, conviction, and strength unlike anything else can give.
Self-knowledge is instrumental to this entire process. The better you know yourself, the more successful you will be.
The Final Frontier Is Oneself
We spend our entire lives with ourselves and yet we cannot answer the most essential questions about ourselves. That is why self-knowledge is powerful. It allows you to be inner-directed and sensitive to your relationship with others. When you embark on this path of self-knowledge, you eventually find stability.
If you follow the guidelines I’ve laid out here, you might also find your core mission statement. From that point you cannot be shaken and your resolve cannot be broken.