Let's face it, everyone wants to find someone special. We all want to share our magical journeys with someone we love, honor, and respect.
I don't know about you, but it seems lately everyone I know is either getting engaged, married, or about to have children. Being a recently-single individual, it can be challenging at times. Personally, I believe there is more than one Mr. or Ms. Right out there for us, which increases the odds tenfold to find that someone special.
All of my clients who are single want to find someone special. But are they prepared? Preparing for love is an incredibly arduous journey of self-discovery, character building, and awareness. It is definitely the road less traveled, but so worthwhile in the end.
Here are five surefire ways to prepare for finding one of the loves of your life, known as the "READY" model:
1. Re-Learn Yourself
Have an honest conversation with yourself about your past relationships and your feelings toward love. Know what type of persons attract you and why. Are they naughty or nice? Or if they make you think twice?
Learning your patterns and behaviors within relationships is of vital importance. You must recognize your role(s), ground yourself in reality, and use this awareness when stepping forward into the unknown. Otherwise, you will fall into the same old patterns, continue to make the same old choices, and yield the same old results.
That's why awareness is key. This time, it will be different.
2. Elevate the Space
Drama no more! That will be your new mantra, meditation, or positive self-talk.
Get rid of all the dirty laundry (aka exes) that is no longer serving you. Make the phone call. Have the final conversation. Accept your part of the responsibility. Get the closure you need. Honor your past relationship. Now, close your eyes, take three deep breaths, figuratively catapult them from your space, open your eyes, and move forward.
Before we can move onward to bigger and better pastures, we must take responsibility, forgive old trespassers, forgive ourselves, and do some crazy authentic work in order to forget prior mistakes.
Your intention to clear the space needs to be solid.
3. Ask for What You Want
Be specific. Be outrageous. Be confident in your choices. Whether it's a stunning Pinterest board or a fantastic collage from magazine clippings over your nightstand, jot your thoughts down in a creative manner that speaks to you. Share with the world, your friends and family.
Now, visualize this person walking toward you when you wake up, when you are brushing your teeth after lunch, and when you lay down to sleep. Ask and you shall receive.
4. Decide to Put Yourself Out There
You must put yourself out there as much as possible, whether physically or virtually.
The most effective place to meet your new love will be at house parties, special events (e.g., weddings, bat mitzvahs, etc.), and fundraisers. At these events, everyone's energy is open, generous, and giving. A true unspoken invitation for love.
Perhaps the second most effective way nowadays to meet your new love is online. From the comfort of your pajamas in your humble home, you can browse the sea of online individuals. Having heard mixed reviews, I still am unsure about the whole idea of "online dating," but it's a great way to start practicing the art of dating. Practice makes perfect, right?
Dating is not easy. Whether it's Jdate, eHarmony, Match, or OneGoodLove, pick the one that speaks to you. Have fun and meet new people. You never know!
Then, there are bars! Enter at your own risk!
5. You Stay Fearless
Be patient. Be authentic. Be fearless. All good things to those who wait. The most challenging part will be the radio silence from time to time. It's easy to become bitter and hopeless. It's not a sprint, it's a marathon. Keep your hope alive at every minute. When hope starts to fade, return to step three, visualize your new love walking toward you and repeat. It helps.
If you follow these steps, you will open the space for love. Simultaneously, you will also sharpen your character, build your confidence, discover your wants and desires, and tighten your awareness. Sounds like a win-win to me. Now, go prepare yourself for love!
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