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Finding Persephone -- The Journey Into Hell, Part 4

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After she was engrossed by the experience with the mirror our heroine proceeds to feel more and more part of the way Persephone moves. Where is she really at? What is illusion and what is real?
An inner journey to the soul, an adventure through darkness into light to be experienced with the immersive mobile virtual reality app visual StarflightVR. Try both sleep and story with this. Sleep is a visual and auditory for the experiences with the mirror.

Loops and rhythms

I feel I have left my office behind
that existence in a misty haze
far from my mind
I cannot even remember what the entryway to our house looks like
Up there
I drink my morning cappuccino
this time in the Underworld blaze
and reflect back
to
the voyage in the stars
to the mirror
to feeling my life up there full of lack
of hectic and stress
and how it is that I found these Caverns

I remember
the worries that taunted me
that taunt so many
Like the loops
that do not let us go

There is that loop that never comes to being
that just promises
strange
whispers
but then vanishes into the vapors of
addiction and despair

It is The Cavern
It is the mouth of the womb
the everlasting entrance
to the recycle bin

It's where I have landed now
Running from
the latest loops
and mind contraptions
I landed into the haze of hell

I am pulled further
into my
new skin
here
in white and gold
I see Hades
and it is as if
I had never left him
as if I had always been there
Here

He is next to me
he points to a being in the corner
the figure, a heap of crumpled paper
a disengaged mound of arms and legs
who just a moment ago
had innocently picked up
a book
from our enchanted Underworld library
We read whatever
we need
to read
to recall
to remember
in the luminous clarity of truth

Becoming aware of their loops
the consequences
of their
cemented beliefs
The beings
are slung
through the rhythms
of their memories

reminding
all of us at the hotel
that the rhythm we live here
is
part of a greater
one
the memories merge into one waltz
it permeates the thick air
dances and percolates
and reduces itself
to a continuous focused motion

Hades
tall and majestic
inspires my awe
He is kind
and soft
Until the moment changes
Until
lightning
without warning
as if
the tide had turned
watching the internal churn
his insides turn out
his eyes reflect
a milky white absence

Then
Battling the beasts he sees
Reflected here on the walls
Reflected here on the people
The imperceptible tide permeates the tunnels
and permeates my skin
Pores sting
He breathes it out
and dragon like
fire and pain
emerge

I wish there was an escape then

The memories of
the world above
are dim
they grow out from the beat
the rhythm of the earth
as it pounds
its heartbeat to all above and below
the trees sway to it
the plants hurry along as if pushed
up ward to meet their light
to find their way
the encouragement of the beat is there
It has never ceased
never diminished

But instead I am here
locked
into hell-

It is The Cavern
It is the mouth of the womb
the everlasting entrance
to the recycle bin

I feel my own blood flow
in that rhythmic dance
I feel my own body sway to the motion
for a minute I am absorbed
by the
cadence
the soothing hold
the constant movement that directs my steps

For a moment I am free
For a moment I am myself

Persephone

Then Persephone
grips me
and I enter
that universe
with one whole
movement
forward
Her voice, her being
lives in me
thoroughly-
entirely

I can see her
sitting in the library
with her own
book
whispering
its magic
secrets
to her

I am her
she is me
and
she is
also
the root
the way
to the emotions of others

"As I wandered through the empty space
I saw no light
anywhere
Just darkness
leading the way
like it always had
since I had lost my home
Since the
king of the underworld had
set his eyes on me
Lost
lost
I have been
stumbling in the darkness

Struggling with the darkness
Struggling
with
the feeling of hope disappearing
ever day
Struggling with
lost
sight
with lost vision
feeling the heavy grip
of the certainty
that I cannot escape
the cycle I am caught in now

The cycle
all reverberating
around me and in me
Where there once was sun
the light has been extinguished
Where there once was unconditional love
there is
posession and control
choking me
freezing my being"

I feel the torment
the hopelessness
the
inability
to find the way
out
I feel her breath
that has stopped
her heart beat
that has accelerated
her hands
that are numb
without
any feeling to them

It is The Cavern
It is the mouth of the womb
the everlasting entrance
to the recycle bin

"As I gaze out of my fortress of darkness
I wish light would come meet me
even in fragments
anything
to escape
that sense
of loneliness
and disconnection
that keeps me
a prisoner here

I gaze around
and I see
him
with the dogs

I wish
I could
escape
but yet again
the fear grips me
at my lowest
belly
it drags
me under in flames
and I succumb again
to the deadening
buzz
in my ears
the breath that has almost stopped
the panic that has gripped
every part of my body
I want to scream
but no sound
comes out
instead
it is a smile
a twisted
grimace
a soundless
scream

It is The Cavern
It is the mouth of the womb
the everlasting entrance
to the recycle bin

Every once in a while
a gleam of light will
shine through
I relish those moments
where I get
these breezes
of light washing through
before going back to the
locker
of
dark stagnation
roaming the halls
of the rich and luscious
underbelly
of the earth"

I witness her nightmare
I witness Persephone's road
in hell
And it strikes me that the worst of it
is that it seems
that there is no way out-

The worst of it
is that the fear of the outer world is that which keeps me there
that fear in the Underworld
that fear with Hades is familiar
the outer
that place between the Underworld and the Heavens I know
that living world
of some office space
of the past
that one
it terrifies me-

Moving back out

I remember
the mirror
that had
so
called to me in the first place

I remember
the stars
the expanse
sinking into the universe
to its core
and being
there
in bliss

I go back
to
that-

I stand in front of it
after having closed the evening
bar service
no one left
in the dead of night-
Even Ralph has left the kitchens
Hades is fast asleep

My breath
moves along
from fogging the mirror
in its own beat
to fogging the galaxies
into painting and pictures
all with their own meanings
all with their own soothing
touch
I watch them change
assemble and reassemble
ceaselessly
The colors move
as I let myself sink further downward
into my own being
into my own rhythm
The pain that had
gripped my body
is letting loose just
a little more
into the dance of colors

Pulled back in

Inevitably it follows
That the wave
pulls and in that motion
I notice that I am being
pulled back in

I don't really want to
I struggle
as I observe
what could be
could have been
am I more the woman leaning into
the tree
Am I more Persephone
swamped by my destiny
Or can I move
through
heartbeat, rhythm and freedom

But then doubts come arising
as I sit staring at
the perfect bar
with its contraptions of gold and tar
Coffee and tea
Drinks on me

How did I get here in the first place?
How did these realms even pull me in
to this place of deep trapping
or did I trip and fall?

I remembered the tree
leaning in too far?
What was I doing here
How come this is where I steer?
it felt like the wrong story
Not mine-
Someone else's
not mine
Maybe Persephone
owns this story
not mine
lost

Lost in thought
lost in my way
lost in my voice
Lost

It is The Cavern
It is the mouth of the womb
the everlasting entrance
to the recycle bin

Should I sink further-
it seems
I have no choice
I do not know how to get out
back out of this gold an white dress
out of these feelings that swamp over me
that
let me know
that I am lost
sunk

I am
clearly not crawling out of hell
at this very moment

But will she come out of hell? Will she reach the world above again? Find out in part 5.