Five People George W. Bush Should Meet in Heaven

Granted, some of these folks will be representative of an entire class, sort of like a heavenly version of a class action suit. As Bush meets these people, I’d like Laura to be there to explain how a “good man” is compatible with policies or actions related to these people.

#1. A representative of the 5 million people who have fallen into poverty during Bush’s first five years as president. As Bush meets this person, it should be explained to him that people who are just above poverty level live paycheck to paycheck. Even a small rise in their cost of living can sink them financially. So these pennies-on-the-dollar raises in sales tax or health insurance or gas that have a moderate effect on wealthier people create a financial disaster for people in this class.

#2. A floating corpse from New Orleans. Or maybe the elderly woman who died in her wheelchair.

#3. Karla Faye Tucker. Yes, she was a murderer and according to the laws of Texas, she was legally put to death. But I would like Bush to explain to her how a Christian could mock a fellow Christian just before executing her.

#4. John Kerry. A merciful God would stand these men opposite each other and judge their souls and their personal merit. Let them be judged without spin, without slime, without lies. I don’t know how that comparison would turn out, but I like the idea of an irrefutable judgment day between the two of them.

#5. Casey Sheehan. He would represent the soldiers killed and the soldiers maimed in the unjustified war in Iraq. He would also represent all the mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, wives, and children of those soldiers. And he would represent the thousands of Iraqis killed or wounded and their families. And Laura could stand there and explain how George is a good man.