As a wedding planner, I often get asked by my brideys, "Bitchless Bride, where did YOU get married?" Like somehow, my wedding was the holy grail of weddings, and if they mimic my every move, decision and even my wedding dress, then their wedding will be a huge triumph just like mine. But, here's the thing... I eloped... In Vegas.
Now, I usually wait until they have signed my wedding planning contract before I tell them about my experience (don't want you brideys getting any ideas about running off unless I get to come with you!) because although I am about to share the juicy details of why I eloped with you, it's not for everyone. Feelings will get hurt, people will feel left out of your big day, and for some, it's not worth the wrath or the guilt it may bring into your life for days, months and sometimes even years to come. But, here is what was running through my mind:
1. To me, this reason alone was the most important: During a drunken honesty session (like there is any other kind!), my now-husband said that he felt uncomfortable professing his undying love for me in front of 150 of our closest friends and family. I tried to tell him that only the people we truly loved would be present, and his response shocked me... "That will only make it worse." Huh? "I'd rather say my vows to you privately or in front of strangers. Just knowing that your dad will be staring me down makes me queasy." Holy crap. That was honest!
2. Parents. Sorry mom, dad, mother-in-law and father-in-law, but your divorces weren't amicable. And even though it was a long time ago, I would rather gut myself than have to watch all of you interact and pretend to be over all the bullshit on a day that is supposed to be meaningful and lovely.
3. Money. I hate to say it, but I didn't want to spend all of that money on one day. Because even though I was getting a deal with all of my connections in the wedding world, if I was going to do it, it was going to be done well. Which meant that no matter how much of a deal I received, then I was definitely going to go over budget! I knew that's how it was going to be. So why set myself up?
Plus, I wanted to buy a home. I wanted to have some money in the bank. And while I cared about my wedding, I cared more about my future with my husband, and no matter what anybody says, money definitely makes those first few years a bit easier.
4. I work in "the industry". Weddings are pretty much what I do on most weekends. And I don't think it would have been possible for me to just chill and enjoy my own wedding without noticing every single stupid detail. Planning a wedding felt like work. And who wants to get married at work? Right?
5. It was fun keeping a secret with my fiancé. I know it sounds silly, but it was something just for us. And it was big!
Brideys, sometimes eloping really is the only answer... it was for me. And I have no regrets. But frankly, I would have regretted it more if my husband couldn't say what he really felt during our vows or if I couldn't shake the feeling of work on my wedding day... Bottom line? Do what's best for you. Got it?
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