You can't eat, you can't sleep, you're super depressed and nothing can even come close to making you happy. No, you didn't just lose the love of your life -- you married him. So why so melancholy, bridey? Odds are you just put on a fabulous party and came home from a fun and sex-filled honeymoon. Life is just beginning, no need to be sad. Right? Wrong... Similar to a tumultuous breakup, when your wedding planning is over, even if it wasn't a great experience for you, it still became a habit... You always had something to do, decisions to make, places to be, people to not only spend time with, but who were desperately trying to assist your every whim... And now it's over. So now what? It's really difficult to go back to the way it was before the engagement. Because you are a different person now. Whether you choose to admit it or not, wedding planning became your pastime.
Bridey, I know it's tough. I really do. I can completely sympathize with you, because sometimes I feel it too. Even as a wedding planner, somebody who plans several events and weddings over the course of the year, when certain weddings come through to fruition, I find myself going through withdrawals. I feel like something is missing, or that I'm forgetting to do something. It's especially difficult if I was quite fond of the bride (and the groom), because not only is the event over, but also the constant communication.
So, knowing where your pretty little head is at, I thought I would help to alleviate some of the sadness with a few suggestions for beating the after-wedding blues:
1. Get obsessed... I mean, get involved with something new. Discover a new passion, and dive in headfirst. Be it a fabulous cooking class, a killer kickboxing workout, or hell... I don't care if you decide to get your damn black belt. Just do something! You and your wedding just broke up, and therefore it is important for you to keep your body busy and your mind occupied, just as you would if you'd lost the love of your life. A small piece of advice? Sign up for these new classes (whatever they are) before your wedding; it's best to have the arrangements in place upon your return from the honeymoon.
2. Search for other recently married women who may harbor the same feelings of the "after-wedding blues." These groups really do exist, bridey, and it will do you some good to meet some people who are going though the same thing at the same time as you are. I'm sure your current friends are there for you, but there is no way they could really sympathize with what you are going through, either because they haven't gone through it themselves, or they are just SO over talking about anything wedding related with you.
3. Go do couple things... You're married now, so go out as a married couple. Do new things together. Things you didn't do when you were engaged. Play tennis together, run in Central Park together (or any other park), go see a foreign film once a week, and then get a glass of wine at a tiny bar to discuss the screening. But, do something new, just the two of you!
4. Meditate. Free your mind... Let it go... You've had so much to focus for the past year or so, and just like that, you don't. So, once you get acclimated to your newly found freedom, enjoy it. Seriously bridey, allow yourself to indulge. Personally? I find that yoga is the best way to free your body and mind.
5. Get your shit together. Bridey, did you just receive a lot of presents? Yeah... Well, then get rid of the stuff you don't want, and organize your home with the new things you do want. It will be a lovely project that will take your mind off of being sad. And while you're at it, write some thank-you notes for the gifts you are putting away.
Bridey, you did such a great job planning your wedding. Every detail was thought out, every piece was in place. So, continue that momentum and make some plans for after the wedding. Be proactive, not depressed. Got it?
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