Florida Anti-Bestiality Law Proposal Fails Again

Florida Anti-Bestiality Law Proposal Fails Again

Just over a week ago, we discussed how the State of Florida was struggling with animals -- specifically, the tendency of Florida residents to fornicate with them. There really ought to be a law, you know?

But Florida, along with about a dozen other states, doesn't have one. It's been the passion of Democratic State Senator Nan Rich to correct this matter, and yesterday, the Florida legislature finally had its chance. You can guess what happened next!

From every angle, a ban on animal bestiality, long pushed by state prosecutors and animal rights activists, seemed poised to finally become law this year, with Republicans and Democrats in both chambers of the Florida Legislature joining forces to push it through.

Yet it failed.

What? You have got to be kidding me, Florida! What happened?

Its advocates say that in the political stew of a legislative session, the very outrageousness of the topic worked against it.

I'm sorry, but you are going to have to explain that.

Lawmakers said they didn't want to be accused of wasting time addressing a rare crime when Floridians needed them to help create jobs. They also didn't want to debate the icky subject in public meetings occasionally frequented by children.

So, instead, you have a whole state, frequented by children, where people can, if they like, sex up a goat. What about the debate was going to be ickier than that?

As it turns out, there was a very specific reason why this failed to pass. You are just not going to believe this nonsense!

The Senate passed the measure twice, but it did not earn so much as a hearing in the House until this session, when Hasner proposed a compromise. The ban was tucked into an omnibus agriculture bill (HB 1445), which passed in the House.

But the Senate passed a different agriculture bill on the last day of the session that would have allowed some gun owners to store their guns in their vehicles in previously exempted locations. The bill (SB 382) also added a fertilizer provision that would make it easier for localities to approve strict ordinances. With mere hours left before the session's close, the House refused to take up the gun and fertilizer language, effectively slaying the agriculture bill.

A separate bill that addressed only animal bestiality never made it to the House floor.

Right, because that would have maybe made a lick of sense!

Anyway, SORRY, AREA FAUNA! Maybe you should hire some powerful lobbyists or something?

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