Parenthood is woven with challenges. The ones most warned about are the total lack of sleep and the constant feeling of anxiety that comes with being a new parent to such a tiny person. But one of the obstacles that no one really talks about ― one of the hardest, in this food editor’s opinion ― is how difficult it becomes to eat a meal because there is a little human that always wants to be in your arms. Like, always.
As parents we can be pretty clever, we find ways to get food into our mouths while also tending to our little one’s needs. But that doesn’t mean that there aren’t some serious mishaps along the way. And by mishaps we mean food dropped on babies’ heads. All kinds of food. More often than you might think.
During the first few months of my second daughter’s life, there wasn’t a day that passed when some sort of crumb didn’t land softly on her tiny, bald head. There were also days where things like taco grease slide down my hand, just narrowly missing her eye as she slept snuggly against me in the baby carrier as I tried to eat like a normal person at an actual restaurant. Those are days when you know you’re not winning any kind of award for great parenting. Luckily, we’re all in it together. All the parents I’ve talked to have eaten over their babies and dropped food on them, too.
Here are some of the best tales I’ve read from a private, moms-only Facebook group I belong to. (Baby and moms’ names have been abbreviated to initials, to help everyone save face.)
I dropped a blob of oatmeal into T’s hair while he was asleep in the carrier. I then proceeded to comb the blob out and eat it. I’m not proud. - L.S.P.
Fried egg yoke. - S.D.
Once I found a piece of quinoa in my guy’s neck chub a week after I had last eaten quinoa... - M.C.M.F.
I ate some crumbs I found on her shirt the other day, after enjoying a treat at a bakery while she was sleeping in the front carrier... they were pretty tasty crumbs, too... - C.H.V.P
I feel like I’ve dropped just about everything on M while he’s in the carrier, but when he was really little, I definitely dripped a melting ice cream cone all over his head and down into the carrier on both of our chests! Bad idea for a hot summer day! He didn’t seem to mind the first few drops, and then he did and it was me scarfing down the cone, licking furiously to keep it from dripping on him and not wasting it of course, all while M is screaming! I’m sure it was quite a sight! Mother of the year not wasting an ice cream cone while baby’s head is covered in cream! - M.P.H.
When A was a newborn I was eating A LOT of bacon, so that was definitely the most frequently dropped item, if not the weirdest. - A.G.H.
My daughter never. Stopped. Nursing. For like 6 months. I used to balance a whole plate of food on her while she nursed on the boppy. - K.M.
When M was in her first few months, she had reflux and had to be held upright a lot. This also meant she wanted to nurse a lot. She absolutely hated the carrier, so I rigged a way to feed myself while also feeding her and keeping her upright. This meant, however, that she shared more of my food than she ever bargained for. She’s been soaked in yogurt and dribbled with pasta sauce. I remember one instance when I dropped a glob of guacamole smack-dab onto the middle of her forehead. (My husband’s response? “Good shot!”) My consolation is the fact that she now covers herself in way more food just trying to aim for her mouth than I ever did. - S.B.