Do you want to have a great sex life? Then consider playing with your food. Now, I'm not talking about turning your apple into a butterfly or a cucumber into a racing car. I am talking about enhancing your sexuality by consciously bringing food into the experience-- and literally playing sensually with your food. Food and sex are connected.
Remember this basic rule when it comes to understanding the relationship between our sexuality and our desire to eat. Both sexuality and food can involve all of our senses.
- Taste: Think about how you use your mouth in sex and while eating. Consider biting, using your tongues and lips.
So how do we bring "foodplay", combining food and sexuality into our lives in a mindful and fun way? See it as a sexploration that you can do with yourself or in your relationship.
The Food As My Lover Game:
I love this game: Go buy a chocolate bar. Not any chocolate bar. Go shopping for this bar of chocolate as if you were going to choose a lover. Let the chocolate seduce you. Shop around. Sniff. Handle the paper. Will you be seduced by a chocolate that is a little dangerous sounding like salt and caramel or hot pepper and dark? Maybe one that is not too sweet? How will you eat it? Will you take it home and make it wait for you? Or will you eat it in the store in front of everybody? How will your tear the paper? Will it be slow and seductive taking your time? Explore it all. Close your eyes and let it melt in your mouth. Then, write it all down as if you were writing an erotic story. It's amazing. If you have a partner, read the story to them or tell it to them. Or post it in comments! Then do to your lover what you did to the chocolate. Now that's a mouthgasm.
There can be expressive aggression to eating, a sexiness to licking your fingers and using your hands, We get so removed from the sensuality of our everyday lives, not just in sex but in food. But food can be a seduction. There's power in using food as a sexual metaphor for sex and then realizing that in so many ways it is sex... just a different expression.
Two Playing With Your Food Tips:
1. Be Careful with Food Near Your Genitals
I always feel like I am talking out of two sides of my mouth when I talk about using food on your body and on or near your genitals. It can be very sexy especially when playing with ice pops! But food can also burn our genitals and cause skin irritations which can be a big bummer. So proceed with caution. Check in with your partner and go slowly. Pour a bottle of honey on your partners genitals to lick it off sounds great, and it can be... but not if it stings them.
2. Bring All Your Senses
How about turning your lover into a plate and eating off of them. Can you use all of your senses to devour them? Get messy. Remove the expensive sheets and prep the table. Cover it with towels and very washable bedding. Being the chef and being "the table" can both be experienced as exciting. Bring your erotic imagination, your mouth and your fingers to the experience. Yum.
This is all about playing with your food as sexual foreplay. The human erotic imagination may be one of the golden keys to having an extraordinary sex life. So many of us are raised with a spoken and unspoken understanding of what is allowable when it comes to having sex. We are raised with this idea of what is "normal' and "approved" and what is not. Quite literally, for many of us our erotic imagination gets shut down and we are left with a very short list of what is allowable for us in our expression of sexuality. Everything else is somehow made "taboo" or "dirty" or "not normal".
To keep our sex lives alive, vibrant and interesting -- we need to cultivate our erotic imagination. For each of us, our sexual enjoyment lies in our ability and willingness to create a sexuality of our very own. Forget normal.
What if we were each invited to view our sexuality as an endless "Play" opportunity instead of it being about getting it right and getting off? What if you felt truly free enough to create your very own sexuality without shame, judgement or inhibitions? Anybody hungry?
Pamela Madsen runs retreats around the country to help women re-connect to their bodies and sensuous nature and is author of the book; "Shameless: How I Ditched The Diet, Got Naked, Found True Pleasure and Somehow Got Home in Time to Cook Dinner" (Rodale 2011).