Real Life. Real News. Real Voices.
Help us tell more of the stories that matter from voices that too often remain unheard.
Join HuffPost Plus
thinner_close_xCreated with Sketch.

Forgive or Not to Forgive?

It is only when pain enters our lives that we feel compelled to heal it or go in search of its meaning. Therefore, pain and suffering have a divine purpose in our lives, and the antidote is forgiveness.
This post was published on the now-closed HuffPost Contributor platform. Contributors control their own work and posted freely to our site. If you need to flag this entry as abusive, send us an email.

This post originally appeared on

Our journey on planet Earth is a constant unearthing of Divine potential. Sometimes the best way to unearth divine potential is by extreme measures or circumstances. So we're all in good company. All of us are on the same divine potential boat. We must learn certain lessons and embody certain qualities that can only come about through conflict and pain.

Now let's be frank -- when we're happy, we have no need to go searching for higher truths or knowledge. It is only when pain enters our lives that we feel compelled to heal it or go in search of its meaning. Therefore, pain and suffering have a divine purpose in our lives, and the antidote is forgiveness.


But the prevalent misconception about forgiveness is that if you forgive the person -- you are letting them off the hook. That somehow forgiving them lets them be free and the Gods will smile upon them. This couldn't be further from the truth. The person who has harmed you has his/her baggage to eventually deal with. What you sow, you reap.

Most times you hold on to the anger because you believe it will punish the other person or make them realize the gravity of their crime. But the person you hate or resent doesn't feel your hatred or anger and to force your perpetrator of admitting wrong is a waste of time and energy. Many who harm others will not admit or confess any wrongdoing and some of them have no remorse for their actions. Reconciliation with the person in question is a long shot unless the person has enough awareness to know better. Your ability to forgive is not dependent on the other person's apologies but your ability to rise above it and do it because you believe your life will be better and healthier for it.


No matter what they did to you, whether they betrayed you, backstabbed you, abused you, cheated on you, your inability to release the hatred imprisons you and robs you of so much. Forgiveness of the person does not imply permission to abuse or hurt you again. Forgiveness is about your own sense of well being and peace. This journey is about your own evolution as a person and as a soul. Once real forgiveness has transpired within you then the person will no longer affect you in any shape or form. You may cross paths with them tomorrow or ten years from now, and you will walk on by with only peace and understanding in your heart.


For more inspiration visit or sign up to receive inspirational reminders every day to feel good-vibe better right in your inbox.


HuffPost's GPS for the Soul app is based on two truths about human beings. First: We all have a centered place of wisdom, harmony and balance within us. Second: We're all going to veer away from that place, again and again and again. What we need is a great course-correcting mechanism -- a GPS for the Soul -- to help us find our way back to that centered place, from which everything is possible.

Because no one knows better than you what helps you de-stress and tap into that place of peace inside yourself, it's important for you to create your very own GPS guide -- a personalized collection of whatever helps you course-correct. Email us at and we'll set you up with your very own HuffPost blogger account to share your guide on the site. If you're already a blogger, we encourage you to upload your personal guide today. We can't wait to see what you have to share.