Expectations are usually set when you are hoping to get someone who will fulfill your needs prior to you trying to do so on your own. Expectations does not equate to reality but desires that you have in mind. Setting unrealistic expectations can destroy your relationship without your awareness. You may wonder what went wrong or why your relationship ended without paying attention.
Here are four unrealistic expectations that may destroy your relationship and may affect others due to your beliefs:
1. You can change your partner
You have to realize you cannot change anyone. Going into a relationship and expecting your partner to suddenly change is not feasible. Your partner is who they are and you are who you are for a reason. The moment you start to think that you can change anyone, you have set an unrealistic expectation that may hurt you as well as your partner.
2. Your partner should always be in agreement with you
A relationship is a two-way street and both parties have to be involved. You both have to make your contributions to help your relationship grow. You may discuss the situation, agree to disagree and agree again while finally reaching a compromise that will work for you as a couple but never expect your partner to always agree with you.
3. Your partner will make you happy
Your happiness should never be dependent on that of someone else. You may to find ways to make yourself happy as an individual (whether married or single). No one can make you happy like you wish to be except you. Setting an unrealistic expectation about happiness will only result in you getting hurt or broken.
4. Your partner should not hang out with his/her friends and family
You do not want your partner to spend more time with friends/family but you wish to make his/her life be about you both. Reality is that before you came into the picture, those people existed and you cannot expect them to vanish overnight. He or she may devote sometime to you both will still need time to be with other people he loves. You have to learn to accept them as part of your life if you want your relationship to go and grow further.
Setting unrealistic expectations can cloud your reality and affect your life emotionally and mentally. Be very careful not to allow these lead you to harbor strife, malice, envy, bitterness and eventually become angry and hateful. You will only make life difficult for yourself and drive your partner further away. If you are single, it may prevent you from finding someone who will love you for who you are.
The sooner you stop setting expectations and allowing yourself to be vulnerable to an extent, the better it becomes for you to enjoy your relationship. Do not set expectations that will never be met but allow yourself to know and understand your partner. Be willing to compromise on certain aspects and do not be too hard on yourself. If you do not expect anything, you will hardly get hurt. Learn to let go and never let unrealistic expectations stop you from living the life you truly deserve.
This material is copyrighted ©2014 Kemi Sogunle. All Rights Reserved.
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