Fourth Time’s A Charm
When I lost my only child Erica in 2001 in a car accident, I did not give in to the unfathomable pain, though at the time, I wanted to. I made a commitment to move forward with my life, choosing that over the word on, because when you move forward, you carry your past and your memories with you. Our lost loved ones deserve that, and it’s our job to insure they are remembered, not simply recalled.
In 2011, along with fellow grieving dad Kelly Farley, we began the Farley-Kluger Initiative to add loss of a child to the Family and Medical Leave Act.
As we spoke, we heard stories of parents who had lost children and were given the standard 3-5 days to mourn. Imagine: Up to 12 weeks unpaid to have or adopt a child, but just three days to bury and mourn that child. It just didn’t seem right. We are a country of compassion and love but we were ignoring the two things that we hold dear: families and our citizens in the workplace.
After six years and three sessions of Congress, a funny thing happened on the way to the Capitol. Our political system defied the laws of Washington as we have come to know it. It actually worked!
On March 6th, 2017, Senator John Tester (D-MT) introduced S.528, The Sarah Grace-Farley-Kluger Act to add child loss to the FMLA with 12 co-sponsors.
Just 10 days later, on March 16th, another miracle took place: TRUE bi-partisan cooperation with a bill of the same name introduced in the House, HR,1560, led by Representatives Paul Gosar (R-AZ) along with Brad Schneider (D-IL) and Reps. Martha McSally (R-AZ), Don Beyer (D-VA), Barbara Comstock (R-AZ) and Tom Suozzi (D-NY).
A Republican-led bill in these interesting times, for the first time since 2011, gives The Sarah Grace-Farley-Kluger Act a real chance of getting a hearing, but it’s more than that. These elected officials possess a quality that is hard to find these days, but if you look deep enough, it’s there…in all of us. I like to call it the 3 “C’s.” Compassion, Civility and Collaboration and this legislation bears this out. We cannot bring back our children. But for those who will take this terrible journey, we can make this path just a little bit easier. It builds stronger people, stronger companies and it’s just good business and we’re grateful to the sponsors.
There’s a story by Rabbi Jack Reimer about the time he saw violinist Itzhak Perlman break a string while performing. instead of replacing it, Perlman continued to play, wildy creating new sounds and notes in his head. When finished, he raised his bow to quiet the cheering audience and said: ‘You know, sometimes it is the artist's task to find out how much music you can still make with what you have left."
In this recollection, Rabbi Reimer noted: “Maybe that’s the definition of life..Perhaps our task in this shaky, fast-changing, bewildering world in which we live.. is to make music, at first with all that we have, and then, when that is no longer possible, to make music with what we have left.”
There’s music being played in Washington and on behalf of the thousands of families, we’re listening with our hearts and our votes.