Fox Sports, Burger King Sell Hamburgers by Calling Jessica Simpson Fat

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Consider: Burger King mocking Tony Romo by way of his "blimpy" ex-girlfriend Jessica Simpson

Take home questions:
1. Is Burger King, of all companies, allowed to make fun of anyone for being fat seeing as they're half the reason for the obesity crisis in this country?
2. Tony Romo & J. Simp have been broken up for some time now and while I don't watch football I have it on good authority that he still sucks. So does it make any sense to still be blaming her for his problems?
3. How does airing a commercial in primetime that mocks an actress' weight sell football to men? Do men really care?
4. Does anyone really think Jessica Simpson is fat?

Consider: Nicole Eggert mocking herself on Funny or Die for "getting fat" by spoofing her Baywatch days.

Take home questions:
1. Does it hurt less if you beat your critics to the punchline and call yourself out for being "fat"?
2. Why would she do this? Has Nicole Eggert done anything since Baywatch? Is she pimping some new b-level movie or something? Why??
3. Are there any women who really found this funny? Are there any men?
4. Is she really fat or is she just a victim of cruel camera angles and a too-tight bikini?

Bonus question: Have you ever pretended to be dying to get someone to give you mouth-to-mouth? Have you ever received mouth-to-mouth when you didn't need it? Because I have (lifeguard class, junior year of high school) and let me tell you, it is nothing like kissing.

Go to students! I expect your homework on my desk (i.e. inbox) by morning!