It's four days before Valentine's Day and I'm headed to hear from a panel of experts on one of my favorite topics - relationships! I learn interesting things too- like in the U.S, only 14.5 percent of all men are six feet or over. But my key takeaway was from panelist, Jack A. Daniels, who said men put women into three categories: the freak, the friend, or the forever. Immediately, images rush to my mind and his concept makes sense - the freak is the booty-call, the friend is the shoulder to cry on and the forever is the perfect combination of both that ends in happily ever after. Simple, yet profound!
As I'm mingling, I notice that a few ladies in the room don't look approachable (read resting bitch face), are huddled with the girlfriends, and/or look like they got dressed in the dark. I mean, c'mon. You're attending an event where eligible bachelors might be (and there were -looking and smelling good!), wear something that's easy to take from desk to date and at minimum, wear lipstick. All single ladies wanting to find love with a quality man and become his forever, must pay special attention to their personal branding!
What's personal branding? It's how you define and present yourself to the world. It involves creating a package that defines you - appearance (body language, clothing, and overall posture) personality (behavior, communication skills and attitudes toward other people), competencies (special strengths you bring to a relationship) and differentiation (things that are make an authentic, recognizable, and memorable impression of you). It's all about how other people experience you and the perceptions they form about you.
Your personal brand is on 24/7. Anyone can Google you (and probably have), go through your social media pages and find out ALL about you. Is your online presence hurting your dating life? What classification of freak, friend or forever would a man put you in?
There are five usual suspects that women express in their online presence, without even knowing it! Once you're aware of how they impact your dating life, you can promote your brand consistently.
1) "The Clubber"
She loves to dress up, go out, party and have fun. She draws attention to herself in her bodycon dresses, camel toe jeans and stilettos. Her Facebook updates include pics from her nights on the town with bottles and drunk girlfriends next to her.
To be fair, she may be well-rounded and just like to enjoy herself. However, if your online presence is heavy on the club scene, you may be sending the wrong message and turning off the very men you want to attract. They won't take you seriously or perceive you as the "friend or forever," because this brand attracts the players looking for the booty call freak.
She's the Netflix and chill girl - literally. If she's not working, she's at home. Comfort is her mantra which is reflected in the way she looks and dresses (read homely). Her Facebook page has photos of her latest recipes and her dog. She doesn't post a lot of updates. She prefers girlfriend get-togethers.
If you aren't seen, you aren't considered. If you're a single woman and always at home, you're limiting your options. Your Instagram page is likely to give the impression of someone with nothing going for them. With this brand, you're likely to attract average complacent guys, if you attract a guy at all.
3) "The Boss Chick"
She is the hard-working go-getter. She's smart as a whip and successful in her career/business. She's active on LinkedIn, and her Facebook updates include attending mastermind conferences and links to articles in BusinessWeek. However, she rarely shares personal details and rarely uploads photos.
This woman fearlessly concurs obstacles and sits atop her empire. She "gets it done" and "makes it happen". Yet, when it comes to love, quality men are drawn to light-hearted women, instead of bossy, control freaks. With this brand, you're likely to attract Beta men who are less successful and don't mind you taking charge in the relationship. Alpha males likely won't be drawn to you unless its business related.
4) "High Siddity"
She's stereotypically gorgeous. Her Facebook updates unmistakably reveal that she expects the best of everything in life. Her Snapchats include selfies in top spas and high end boutiques. She may not have a job, but she won't give a decent guy who isn't rich and successful ANY play.
While self-care is important, if your primary focus is extravagance then you might turn off decent men who can't afford the lifestyle. With this brand, you're likely to attract much older, wealthy men. While they can treat you to the finer things, they're unlikely to commit, marry or have kids with you (read sugar daddy).
5) "The Perfect 10"
She's classy and well-rounded both in her appearance and approach to life. She's educated and successful in her career/business but doesn't base her existence on it. Her diverse interests make her fascinating and unique. Her Facebook updates and photos vary - a comment about a book she just published, her at a private viewing of a new reality show, a sky diving adventure with friends--she lives her life to the fullest!
Some fake it to make it on social media. If you put scuba diving on your profile, make sure you can swim when he takes you to the beach. The kind of man you attract with this brand will spot inconsistencies immediately. With this brand, you're likely to be perceived as a high-value woman who potentially can become the "forever" for the right man. You may have your pick of the litter, so choose wisely!
This post was originally posted on polishedpersonas.com
Kenyatta is the founder of Polished Personas, an agency that empowers ambitious young professionals to look good, be confident and make moves in their careers and love life. Follow her on Instagram, Facebook or Schedule Your Brand Illumination call with her today!